Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 29 Dec 2017

    Panic Floods Mike Pence's System Before Realizing Hand On Knee His Own https://trib.al/MD584EZ  #OurAnnualYearpic.twitter.com/zexeliLBav

    12:35 PM - 29 Dec 2017
    • 677 Retweets
    • 3,199 Likes
    • Felicia Czochanski Scarlett Martin Mel emily Thad Collins Pursuant of Truth Rolnd Karl Ostheim ProffesorPants Pat Jahn
    17 replies 677 retweets 3,199 likes
      1. Barry‏ @Barryhallphd 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It’s still a guy touching a guy...just saying...mother would not approve..

        0 replies 0 retweets 25 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. (((Feddi Up)))‏ @FeddiUp 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        With all the attention focused on the incoherent babbling of #LiarInChief it is important to step back and remember that #EvilPence is also batshit crazy Thanks Onion fro reminding us!pic.twitter.com/OlzTQDV74e

        1 reply 2 retweets 2 likes
      3. Susan Troxell‏ @susanktroxell 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @FeddiUp @TheOnion

        Yes! Batshit crazy, indeed. And a danger to this country.

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Georg Fagerbakke‏ @G__E__F 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/rt5qRsMj49

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Kathryn Cudihy‏ @KathrynSmiles 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/4s6CXgWtWV

        1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. matthew‏ @mzebatto 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @ChetPowell

        Well, we know it’s not “Mother’s” hand on his knee.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ed Drennen‏ @EdDrennen1 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Onion likes safe targets - so daring!pic.twitter.com/qWcP6OWbgN

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sufi‏ @SufiSoof 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Mike Pence Prays On Wayward Hand Before Allowing It To Stay Attached To Wrist

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. LouiseMarieE‏ @louise_q10 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        We can hopepic.twitter.com/lHrsyuCd74

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Barbara Hagy‏ @barhagy 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hahahahahaha. Thanks for the laugh!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sorry I shoved you..... I realized it wasn’t Karen’s hand, and since I cannot be touched by another woman or be alone in her presence, I thought it was you brushing against me!!! Turns out my hands actually do reach my knees, when sitting or standing!! My bad!!pic.twitter.com/bbNvWc2bfH

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. thevenividibuy‏ @thevenividibuy 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        https://the-venividibuy.myshopify.com/collections/star-wars …

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tony Rosa‏ @TonyRosa_really 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        mother.......mother..........mother?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Outsider to the Internet‏ @verloudFood 29 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's weird that he is essentially a menopausal women with a career in battered wife syndrome at such a young age.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info