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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 28 Dec 2017

    Nation’s Single Friends Announced Today To Just Sort Of Stand There While Couples Kiss On New Year’s Evepic.twitter.com/RQUILTNnNX

    5:42 PM - 28 Dec 2017
    • 2,048 Retweets
    • 5,658 Likes
    • Yassie Amanda moises James Ballard Sally Watts Jonathan Neal siva kumar Lal krishna7 😎😎 Claire Chen
    59 replies 2,048 retweets 5,658 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. The Amateur Ear‏ @theamateurear 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What's more funny is the fixation with being a couple. There are so many divorces.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Rich‏ @KyroDC 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @theamateurear @TheOnion

        You may fail, so why even try. Wait, that's not right.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. The Amateur Ear‏ @theamateurear 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @KyroDC @TheOnion

        You can be happy, single or not.

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Barbara Morrison‏ @bkmorrison 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I’ve employed all these tactics. And, sadly, will employ them once again this year.

        1 reply 0 retweets 15 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Lydia‏ @Lydzmagzsteel 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/ecQF3jNZop

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. Whistling Batter‏ @WhistlingBatter 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        me, I just visualize Marion Coitillard's tear-filled eyes. It gets me through anything.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. Lana‏ @lanamush 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @sWooZ1e @laurDIY @AlexWassabi us

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. A n j e l i c a‏ @brokencandybar 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The best thing to do is set them on fire.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Dimeji Babalola 🇳🇬‏ @dimejibabalola 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/EymQ44bM7l

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. Kenny T‏ @kangtkat 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/3FMEEBz0Ez

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. GrouchySniper‏ @ironxbox 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Comedy shorts gamer?

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Shane  🇺🇸‏ @Shane_320 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Y'all are too real sometimes

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Carmine De Santo‏ @carminedesanto2 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @JIMrichards1010

        pic.twitter.com/phD9XN6scD

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Ed Drennen‏ @EdDrennen1 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Suggestion: bang panspic.twitter.com/yzQFt5An9s

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Fred360Models‏ @Fred360Models 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I've mastered all these tactics, sadly enough! May kiss a bum this year though - they usually come with a liquor bottle to ease the pain 🍾. They need lovin' too, you know?!! 😂🤣

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Harkens back to high school dances... Girls on floor, guys propping up walls...pic.twitter.com/oC4CGT9dbR

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. kelsey pohl‏ @kelseypohl 28 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Sammieclare @emmajordanis

        2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply

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