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The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 25 Dec 2017

    Family Receives 38-Piece AstraZeneca Assorted Pill Sampler https://trib.al/eG0K80b pic.twitter.com/ANwtDozMiw

    2:05 PM - 25 Dec 2017
    • 471 Retweets
    • 1,873 Likes
    • ₩₩ Polly McGonigle Bob kenney JOE DOE 🍁🎃🏈 Ben Slotten Carole Nowicke Tamarind Lemur Pierre-Simon Laplace Logan
    26 replies 471 retweets 1,873 likes
      1. Boo-mily the Grouch‏ @SmilingGrouch 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        A $4500 value with no insurance coverage unless you’ve paid your deductible.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. lil Rae-Ban‏ @RaeannCoolBeans 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        How many calories do the blue ones have? AstraZeneca may be able to help...

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. M J Berzinsky‏ @BerzinskyM 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bound to happen sooner or later. 😅😅😅😅

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Guuberre‏ @Guuberre 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I've got relatives that would like this.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Robert Lacks‏ @nycourtclerk 26 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I love the commercials that states "side affects may include suicidal tendacies" which, if you think about it, would cure your ailment

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Wondra Words‏ @WondraWords 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Remember to always follow dosage instructions.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1.  🖤‏ @SevenAndSoda 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @2HOLT2HANDLE cool!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2.  🇺🇸  🕸 🎃 VOTE NOVEMBER 6TH  🍂 🍁  🇺🇸‏ @ZHAilill 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Side affects may include temporary paralysis, decreased sensations and all the possible side affects from every other pills!!! Ask your doctor 👩‍⚕️ is this sampler right for you?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Trevor Jones‏ @trevorjones46 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @ZHAilill @TheOnion

        Bit like Old Turkey whiskey eh

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4.  🇺🇸  🕸 🎃 VOTE NOVEMBER 6TH  🍂 🍁  🇺🇸‏ @ZHAilill 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @trevorjones46 @TheOnion

        Nope but this 👇🏻pic.twitter.com/wC9vcyzZZ6

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Ken Grayling‏ @Kenarf 26 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @glynmoody

        With the backing track by Primal Scream - 'Rocks'

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You take the blue pill, everything returns to normal... You take the red pill, and MOTHERF@CKER!! It’s a 5 day binge... Violent mood swings, imagined assasins, killer robots and visual & auditory hallucinations... You’ll be FLYING in the end....pic.twitter.com/nzzxyJCgcT

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Paul Holland‏ @Paul_Hol1000 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Diludids, valium, percs, viagra

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Yournamehere‏ @TheRealSyle1 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Whoa! This makes it much easier to find your drug of choice. I will take 3.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Raymond Hill‏ @Rayhill75Hill 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What a wonderful present.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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