Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 24 Dec 2017

    "I mean, look at the facts, boys and girls! We already know the Bush administration was itching to go to war in Iraq, now, don't we? Yes, indeed we do, my darling ones!" https://trib.al/Mvw6XTa pic.twitter.com/OPLCWEKdXL

    8:45 PM - 24 Dec 2017
    • 664 Retweets
    • 2,894 Likes
    • Brendan Mc Crory warmduscher Elijah Jas 👻🔪 Jim, short for Jimothy Delwin That One Guy Keyboard Commando Ben Langlois
    40 replies 664 retweets 2,894 likes
      1. ScottLundinEverybody‏ @ScottLundin 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This sleighed me.

        0 replies 0 retweets 28 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Ronald Lamplighter‏ @RonaldLampligh2 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @tamra_hatfield

        Totally agree ! 🎁🎄🎅

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Young Frank Einstein‏ @nochalbestiny 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @RonaldLampligh2 @TheOnion @tamra_hatfield

        Bush was on the Naughty List .... It all makes sense now ....

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2.  🎶angie 🍋‏ @urawizardshosty 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @BaronStomper

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Terrel Tan‏ @ArcTangent22 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @urawizardshosty @TheOnion @BaronStomper

        Ma’am he’s not the only political in this vicinity...

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4.  👍🏿 🇨🇴Take Naps 🇺🇸 👌🏿_______________________ 🎃‏ @BaronStomper 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @ArcTangent22 @urawizardshosty @TheOnion

        🖕🏽

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Han Shot First‏ @han__shot_first 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        7/11 was a part time job.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Steve conversations‏ @Steven495 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It was an outside job with permissions from the inside.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. 天住‏ @nexsqueezeal 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And what could they possibly get from this... ?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Ronald Lamplighter‏ @RonaldLampligh2 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @nexsqueezeal @TheOnion

        911 was the plan to scare, then break the economy. All designed to privatize the nation, handing most of our governmental functions to the 2% ultra rich ! The Project For a New American Century ! Obama disrupted their plan ! Now Trump. OMG! 😥

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. blex‏ @peachp0p 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @RonaldLampligh2

        Plot twist: Obama kept it going.

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. Ronald Lamplighter‏ @RonaldLampligh2 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @peachp0p

        😕

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Brendan Mc Crory‏ @TheJaw123 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Conor_Gary

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Conor Keane‏ @Conor_Gary 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheJaw123 @TheOnion

        Santa’s woke

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Sean Donovan‏ @Kohi_Kappu 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You've just received a holiday e-card, @ericwojo

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Eric Wojciechowski  🛸 👽 🕴‏ @ericwojo 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Kohi_Kappu @TheOnion

        Aaaaaaaand, retweet.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Ty Vulpine‏ @TyVulpintaur 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        1. The government is notoriously bad at keeping secrets, so after 16 years and nobody has spilled the beans? 2. There were plenty of other ways to instigate war with Iraq (and majority of Americans didn’t believe Bush’s claims that Saddam was in on it)

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Ty Vulpine‏ @TyVulpintaur 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TyVulpintaur @TheOnion

        3. Saddam and Osama hated each other (Saddam didn’t want Osama undermining his power and Osama considered Saddam an infidel)

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Ngo Pho Quing-Body‏ @iamngobody 25 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That would explain the termite damage we've recently found in our home

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info