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The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 23 Dec 2017

    Paul Ryan Slits Auto Mechanic’s Throat To Kick Off GOP Purge Of Working Class https://trib.al/WrAO5bC pic.twitter.com/1pdHrbMdVZ

    1:26 PM - 23 Dec 2017
    • 1,290 Retweets
    • 4,402 Likes
    • US Politics Plow GnomishMath Barry Hingley Jack Toland The 🎃 Frightening Faey 🎃 | faye@sunbeam.city Patrick Nickle รɑɱ Chris
    89 replies 1,290 retweets 4,402 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. John Dorlean‏ @JohnDorlean 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oops that reminds me to set my agenda for tomorrow morning. TO DO: 1) Find quality bootstraps 2) Pull self up with found bootstraps 3) Become Billionaire 4) Avoid purge Ok, all I gotta do now is hold up till tomorrow afternoon. Lists are great.

        1 reply 1 retweet 10 likes
      3. BillyAndy3‏ @BillyAndy3 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @JohnDorlean @TheOnion

        I dunno, bro. Even with all of those qualifications, you forgot to list becoming white. They might use your not being white as a loophole to purge you.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. John Dorlean‏ @JohnDorlean 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @BillyAndy3 @TheOnion

        I got it all worked out. The plan is to stand between Ben Carson and Herman Cain, and no one will know it's me. Just have to stay stupid things and then I'll be totally invisible.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      5. BillyAndy3‏ @BillyAndy3 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @JohnDorlean @TheOnion

        Sir, you definitely have a plan. I salute you and your survival skills.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. Donny‏ @Tehdon 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Still one of the nicest things he’s done for the working class.

        0 replies 0 retweets 40 likes
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      1. Dorian Gray‏ @whyspremist 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Leave the poor guy alone. It's the only way he can get an erection anymore.

        0 replies 0 retweets 25 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Sandhillsrider‏ @Sandhillsrider 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Your humor is 🐂💩

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. BOOcephus‏ @Josephus_Jones 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Sandhillsrider @TheOnion

        Cow ice cream? Is that a British thing or something?

        1 reply 0 retweets 25 likes
      4. Sandhillsrider‏ @Sandhillsrider 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Josephus_Jones @TheOnion

        You won't thinks so if you taste it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. Nuro‏ @Nuropsych1 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not too far off actually. Republican senate in action. #THUGLIFEpic.twitter.com/Y2e9JfK9he

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Chris Hecox‏ @ChrisHecox 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @catorano @TheOnion

        For the uninitiated.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. End of conversation
      1. Robert Lacks‏ @nycourtclerk 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        For Christ sake's people, it's just a joke. He's not even using the sharp side of the knife

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Connie S‏ @HICatWhisperer 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        One toke over the line, guys. Too far.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. YACOB‏ @Dev_YACOB 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When I saw this, it was at 666 likes, am I blessed!?

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. WrenFire's Transformers Reviews! Now with Estrogen‏ @OrionPax4217 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Holy crap, that's both insanely triggering and insanely funny

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Val Witmer‏ @WitmerVal 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is this for real???

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. luke‏ @Young_BuffaLUKE 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @WitmerVal @TheOnion

        ...what do you think

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      4. End of conversation

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