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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 22 Dec 2017

    Breaking: Flight Attendant Currently Attempting To Pass Cup Of Cranberry Juice Over Your Laptop https://trib.al/IQB4QVr pic.twitter.com/AQNbbp2XXz

    6:48 PM - 22 Dec 2017
    • 461 Retweets
    • 2,731 Likes
    • ❣️ A ghost, a skeleton and a bucket of blood 👻💀🍷 Charlie Pattinson Sheena-kay Graham Veronica 🇺🇸 Ben Slotten Brian Pattinson Domine, non sumus digni holly🦋mia
    24 replies 461 retweets 2,731 likes
      1. Blond Ambition‏Verified account @BL0NDAMBITION 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        and not letting you help AT ALL

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Sousi‏ @sousibrown 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        No worries, the holiday traveller in front of you is about to slam their seat back and crush your screen anyway.

        1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Justin Randall‏ @imjustinrandall 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @cschleichsrun

        Flight attendant is secretly hoping it spills

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. A n j e l i c a‏ @brokencandybar 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And I'm attempting to kick her in the face with my mind if she spills anything

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Max Mikulecky‏ @maxmikulecky 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @BryRogers @TheOnion

        Lol I don’t understand why I’ve have more spilled drinks on my couch than in all the flights I’ve had in my life combined

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Orlando Lugo‏ @oloogu 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And isn’t even making eye contact.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Lee Takamiya‏ @leet793 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        At least it wasn’t hot coffee at McDonalds.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Guy  🐙 Person‏ @TheRealMrPerson 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😬😦😵

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Slade‏ @Slade87338300 24 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My khakis don’t ruin them!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Flight attendant should drink half way before passing. You get dehydrated fast with dry cabin pressure.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Herpules‏ @smeltonfelter 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Always the top issue. Still more informative than cnn.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tony D‏ @biff725 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sorry Turbulence, well have a nice day, lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tailore Dawson‏ @Tahloree 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/DSIMtSzcQ1

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Poubear‏ @Poubears 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Scary

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Isn’t this the premise for an adult movie? A spill, a strategic pat-down and then the mile-high club? Or is this just crappy service from United Airlines? You decide...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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