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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 22 Dec 2017

    Report: More Americans Forced To Sell Gold Pocket Watch In Order To Afford Set Of Fine Combs For Wife https://trib.al/j6OOQpN pic.twitter.com/ycy3JZDKqa

    7:47 AM - 22 Dec 2017
    • 460 Retweets
    • 1,936 Likes
    • Lance Acerrox Charlie Campbell Tonnes of fun Ace #AlliedStrong Star Dream BlueWaveNov6th! Kate François RazzleDazzleRootBeer
    18 replies 460 retweets 1,936 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Nick The Spooky‏ @NickTheNewbie 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Report: More Americans Forced To Sell Hair In Order To Afford Watch Chain For Husband

        2 replies 3 retweets 24 likes
      3. Eric H‏ @TesseractUnfold 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @NickTheNewbie @TheOnion

        -- "Alarming increase in shops offering only hair and pocketwatch related services has regulators worried."

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Sheepdog5931‏ @sheepdog5931 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Gift of the MAGA?

        2 replies 1 retweet 13 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. d a singer‏ @dasinger22 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        O’Henry, you’re so funny.

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. Deborah‏ @DebFenning 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/SEsR1dhvq9

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Christine Potter‏ @FictionalMom 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wrong kind of comb in that pic. They were combs that held her beautiful hair up/in place in the alluded to story. #copyeditor4life

        2 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Raj Dash‏ @RSDMad 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Little do they know their wives are cutting off their hair to buy them a gift. White elephant is the way to go folks!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Harridan‏ @dismaldamselle 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wrong kind of combs.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. ross durham‏ @rossdurham089 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Economic growth

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Vote November 6th‏ @fitserbmomma 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Gift of the MAGA.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Paul A. Haag‏ @CaptainChaos67 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yes! Just read this in class yesterday!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is a fable, nothing less...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Robinson‏ @heartadarkness 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        So depressed I crawled right to a booth in Pete’s Tavern and wrote about it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ken‏ @KublaKen 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ...who cut their hair off and sold it to buy a fob for his watch. Sad story indeed.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Robert Turner‏ @RRobovski 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This just in: wife used hair money to buy Stella instead of watch chain but drank it all. Husband's gift is a drunken hug.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. AudreyP616216de‏ @p616216de 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is That mcombs

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ken van horn‏ @Kenvanhorn2 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I sold my watch to pay electric bill

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. DumpTrump‏ @CapitolHe11 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Too bad all the wives went for the @rosemcgowan hairstyle to be in solidarity with the #MeToo Campaign. But you can still wear that gold chain she got you for the watch. Winning!!pic.twitter.com/f7Qkqncjf0

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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