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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

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    1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 21 Dec 2017

      Food To Leave Out For God On Christmas Evepic.twitter.com/X8agsYXwyj

      38 replies 305 retweets 956 likes
      Show this thread
      The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 21 Dec 2017

      Leave out a full roasted chicken, so God can give the bones to His angels so they have something to snack on, too.pic.twitter.com/tiy6QY750M

      4:21 PM - 21 Dec 2017
      • 70 Retweets
      • 426 Likes
      • Yonela Faleni Barbara Riegel Karl Dyke Charmaine Dimakatso dangerchef sues 🌈 #KidsOffNauru ZAFAR MEHMOOD Pierre-Simon Laplace em 🌟
      19 replies 70 retweets 426 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Sandhillsrider‏ @Sandhillsrider 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Mocking God is not the wisest thing you could do tonight. Imho.

          3 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. John Stam‏ @real_John_Stam 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @Sandhillsrider @TheOnion

          Heads up for that 'thunderbolt of smite'!

          0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
        4. End of conversation
        1. BrockNRoll‏ @BrockNRoll_OW 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          🎶Lets leave treats out for Santa So he can be refreshed If you don’t leave treats for Santa then He’ll feast upon your flesh🎶

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        1. MPry‏ @DFaninFla 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Now do a Mohammed the Prophet one, it'll be hilarious!

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        1. Robert Turner‏ @RRobovski 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          God does not want paltry poultry, he wants lamb. 1 Corinthians 5:7 Exodus 12:3

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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        1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 22 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          🎼 “My name is (ArchAngel) Michael, I’ve got a nickle, We’re going to buy a chicken leg, or two...”. 🎼

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. MsDaisy 💩‏ @DaisyCutter15 22 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Basement Cat seZ: 'K thnx bye!pic.twitter.com/ekUkRIbfUr

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. Phillipe  🇦🇺‏ @happytalist 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          trickle down economics satire. nice

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. John O'Brien‏ @firemex1 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          creepy ol shit for people to believein in in this day and age.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. jena S Morris‏ @jenaSMorris1 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Jesus is not G-d so that’s offensive. If you say you believe Jesus is the son of G-d, I’ll give you a pass because it’s what you believe.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. john a. sewak‏ @JohnaSewak 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Now this is a hilariously irreverent allusion to old Mythological Times where idiotic "sacrifice" was "supposed to" pay-the-price for something nice!

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. New conversation
        2. FoggyDew‏ @Cynikaloptomist 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          My family always leave a full roasted chicken for God every year 😇😇😇

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Carrie Carter‏ @carrie_clv 23 Dec 2017
          Replying to @Cynikaloptomist @TheOnion

          Right?!!! It’s always been a tradition here in Utah!

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. FoggyDew‏ @Cynikaloptomist 23 Dec 2017
          Replying to @carrie_clv @TheOnion

          Good God Bless You Carrie....and Utah 😇👍😍

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        5. End of conversation
        1. Is That Cat Pee?‏ @Aoxxi23 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Fuck that, I'm leaving jello shots for God AND his angels. He needs it after seeing all his creation, Trump, has done.

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. Catherine Antuono‏ @Cantuono 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          LOL

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. New conversation
        2. Fast Billy‏ @billybob989898 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Mocking God is not a good idea

          2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. FoggyDew‏ @Cynikaloptomist 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @billybob989898 @TheOnion

          Am sure he has a sense of humour.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. Fast Billy‏ @billybob989898 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @Cynikaloptomist @TheOnion

          Hmmm maybe

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        5. John Stam‏ @real_John_Stam 21 Dec 2017
          Replying to @billybob989898 @Cynikaloptomist @TheOnion

          Just ask Isaac..."just kidding, suckers! "

          0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        6. End of conversation

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