Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 21 Dec 2017

    Paul Ryan Confident American People Will Warm Up To Tax Plan Once They Realize Life A Cruel And Meaningless Farce https://trib.al/FO5z6mi pic.twitter.com/T1nZjsNjf0

    12:22 PM - 21 Dec 2017
    • 3,971 Retweets
    • 10,916 Likes
    • brett 🦄 Esther🦄 Ana Daruka (安娜) Janet Goodell🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 vyl🌼 Neil Lamont Brian Speagle emily Tom Niedenfuer
    115 replies 3,971 retweets 10,916 likes
      1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 21 Dec 2017

        .@SpeakerRyan: “Although it may not be very popular now, I’m certain that Americans will come around to this new system when they begin to understand the ruthless absurdity of existence.” https://trib.al/3YnKC0X pic.twitter.com/guGrW78H4z

        25 replies 511 retweets 1,556 likes
        Show this thread
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Laura Dill‏ @Perspectvz 21 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        GOP has sold it’s soul for profit & power. Partisan policies are tearing the country apart & literally threatening the lives of children, elderly, chronically ill & poor & disaster victims, then calling it a Christmas gift. 🤬 #RaiseYourVoice #BeReadyToMarch #Vote #BlueTsunami

        7 replies 8 retweets 33 likes
      3. Ianthe Covington‏ @IantheCovington 21 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Perspectvz @TheOnion

        @TheOnion is TRUTH CENTRAL in DT’s America!

        0 replies 1 retweet 11 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Duchampia‏ @Duchampia 21 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That sounds like Ayn Rand’s philosophy of objectivism. I know Paul Ryan is a fan of hers. No wonder. 🙄 She got her information from a serial killer who was locked up in jail. Geezus! 🤪😆pic.twitter.com/9YHt8nPtua

        3 replies 3 retweets 6 likes
      3. Jim Caron‏ @Jim_Caron 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Duchampia @TheOnion

        And the Republican Congress is a bunch of serial killers who mostly have avoided jail thus far. Their protection of NRA/gun makers/mass killers and now defunding of health care being Exhibits A and B of a long list. But they know how to talk to imbeciles.

        1 reply 3 retweets 10 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. The_innkeeper‏ @keeper_of_inns 21 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Satire! You're supposed to be SATIRE!

        0 replies 2 retweets 23 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. DJ Burn‏ @DJBurn77 21 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Republicans always inherit a good economy from the democrats then fuck it up with their tax give away to the rich. Dejavu America Dejavu http://www.soyouknow.info/blog/goptaxcut 

        1 reply 3 retweets 28 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Cal Saves the World ✪‏ @613rockstar 21 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It’s a joke... but it’s true. Too existential. Ima go to Instagram for cat pics now.

        0 replies 1 retweet 24 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Bonnie S Resistance  🌊NOT A BOT! 🌊‏ @BonJS0370 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Jughead and the GOP WANT THE POOR AND ILL TO DIE SO THEY CAN TAKE THE REST OF THE USA FOR THEMSELVES!

        1 reply 2 retweets 2 likes
      3. Leah Beauchamp‏ @LbeauCamp 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @BonJS0370 @TheOnion

        Puerto Rico is case in point. When poor people all loose their homes and land, they will leave. Voila! In come the real estate investors with their generous tax breaks to develop Island as a tropical paradise for tourists with cash.

        0 replies 1 retweet 5 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Ed Averill‏ @ed_averill 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @babushka_tasi

        Ah, but life is cruel and meaningless only because Paul Ryan is dealer, and he is meaningless and cruel. Is very bad joke.

        1 reply 1 retweet 6 likes
      3. saoirse‏ @saoirse2022 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @ed_averill @TheOnion @babushka_tasi

        Sometimes I wonder who votes for these pigs. Then I look around. Usually they manage to dress themselves, but that's a mystery too.

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Soren McCarthy‏ @SorenMcCarthy 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/UkCxBZnJNj

        0 replies 2 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mark E. Kilmer, PhD‏ @kilmer_e 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When did The Onion become real news?

        0 replies 1 retweet 12 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. John Kurman‏ @JohnKurman 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Merry Christmas Pottersville!

        0 replies 2 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Carlos Almeida‏ @carlosalmeida 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Merry tax cut and a happy New offshore fortune

        0 replies 2 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Juandomingo (Jd) Tapia V. (5th)  🇪🇸 🇺🇸‏ @EvolutionaryApe 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's become absolutely obvious that the U.S. citizens are no more than servants to the political filth. "Government for the wealthy by the wealthy."

        0 replies 1 retweet 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Daniel Cook‏ @dan_the_man_5 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Paul would like to think this is a tax plan that both Ayn Rand and Jesus would have voted for.

        1 reply 3 retweets 8 likes
      3. 1 more reply

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info