Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 20 Dec 2017

    Study Finds Fewer Millennials Want To Live https://trib.al/0rQDHzp pic.twitter.com/pJvcErOP8X

    12:56 PM - 20 Dec 2017
    • 1,738 Retweets
    • 4,742 Likes
    • Spooky JD 🦇 ✨A L I ✨ Eileen Understaalz •°☆ anxiety sasuke ☆°• morgan 〰 kylie 〰 Alex Estrada brig bonsoir
    66 replies 1,738 retweets 4,742 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Walter(Owen's Grandp‏ @walterowensgrpa 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is because their lazy and do not want to work hard at a job ! Wow ! I am retired and I still want to live , they could learn a lesson from an old man !!

        15 replies 0 retweets 38 likes
      3. Etha 🅱️‏ @ethab_spotted 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @walterowensgrpa @TheOnion

        Stop crunkin my style OLD MAN

        1 reply 1 retweet 126 likes
      4. Etha 🅱️‏ @ethab_spotted 23 Dec 2017
        Replying to @ethab_spotted @walterowensgrpa @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/w7yIBULGZc

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Sean O'Hare‏ @S_E_A_N_I_E__O 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought this page was satire?

        2 replies 6 retweets 155 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Teddy Thunderbolt‏ @TeddyThundrbolt 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        recent studies show a vast majority of them "can't even."

        0 replies 4 retweets 24 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Saracastically‏ @winterschild11 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Given how many young people commit suicide, this isn't even remotely amusing. Perhaps they feel no hope because of what the previous generation has left them

        1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
      3. GMO Soy Boy‏ @RacistTeacup 21 Dec 2017
        Replying to @winterschild11 @TheOnion

        I feel it's one of the 'studies show/finds' or general article that @TheOnion posts that are the odd balance of not scientifically or %100 evidence backed but also very close to the truth of how a group feels.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. GMO Soy Boy‏ @RacistTeacup 21 Dec 2017
        Replying to @RacistTeacup @winterschild11 @TheOnion

        Suicide isn't funny, no. But there's this weird situation where people can find themselves in when they are not planning suicide but they feel like it would be easier to die. And some people would like to voice this feeling without loved ones needlessly freaking out

        2 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
      5. GMO Soy Boy‏ @RacistTeacup 21 Dec 2017
        Replying to @RacistTeacup @winterschild11 @TheOnion

        Like I, personally, have dealt with things like this, and it's really great to have that friend or person you can honestly say 'Hey I kinda feel like shit and want to die' and have them understand that you're voicing this feeling as a means of coping and not a cry for help

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. John Guerrgoyle‏ @johndaguerra 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Okay but where's the joke though

        1 reply 0 retweets 70 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Lego By Ben‏ @lego_by_ben 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        onion youre not supposed to report real news

        0 replies 0 retweets 48 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dylan‏ @edgyGoyim 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @esothetic

        pic.twitter.com/hGHZfgC1cZ

        0 replies 0 retweets 18 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Etha 🅱️‏ @ethab_spotted 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is this even fake though?

        0 replies 0 retweets 17 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Nadir Požegija‏ @TermaNadir 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This isn't satire this just the truth

        0 replies 1 retweet 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Man Bartlett‏Verified account @man 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @__nkO

        checks out

        0 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Authentic Don Holley™‏ @donholley0 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Logicalpic.twitter.com/4vphLaOdrH

        0 replies 2 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Brandon Sprague‏ @Sprague_Brandon 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @peachyks22 @Kingpin794 @KristieGnar

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Tyler Behmlander‏ @Kingpin794 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Sprague_Brandon @TheOnion and

        "More viable alternatives." 😂😂😂😂😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info