Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 20 Dec 2017

    Paul Ryan Slits Auto Mechanic’s Throat To Kick Off GOP Purge Of Working Class https://trib.al/e0PR3nu pic.twitter.com/NjA2e4vzxS

    12:16 PM - 20 Dec 2017
    • 18,276 Retweets
    • 44,820 Likes
    • inertia creep Irierebel Captain Obvious ❌❌❌ ghada reda RIP A$AP YAMS Tim Chaisson just a wee ghostie FUCK YOU Brooke Weaver
    Paul Ryan
    632 replies 18,276 retweets 44,820 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. cody‏ @lemasterbedroom 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @themadhatter355 @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        its actually very funny

        12 replies 6 retweets 1,632 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. cody‏ @lemasterbedroom 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @themadhatter355 @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        Paul Ryan jacks off thinking of impoverished infants dying in the streets. You love murderers

        11 replies 38 retweets 1,471 likes
      5. cody‏ @lemasterbedroom 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @lemasterbedroom @themadhatter355 and

        lolpic.twitter.com/msu1K1y6mv

        12 replies 5 retweets 899 likes
      6. Tweet unavailable
      7. Taranormal Activity‏ @Tarasauruswreck 21 Dec 2017
        Replying to @PatrickRomSim @lemasterbedroom and

        I drew a portrait! Bea caught me slippin’pic.twitter.com/3i4lpjUBPa

        1 reply 1 retweet 14 likes
      8. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Joe K‏ @JoeKuglerTN 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        What’s sad is that not a single person in the comments or @theonion, I might add, can articulate exactly why this Tax bill is bad for the “working class”. Dems have zero winning ideas. Literally not a single solution to any problem.

        68 replies 2 retweets 53 likes
      3. Mike Green‏ @Green_Recruiter 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @JoeKuglerTN @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        it's hilarious...Twitter should make a rule that anyone ranting and crying about "killing the middle-class" gets an increase in their take home pay in February, they have to tweet "I was wrong, I ranted and shouldn't have, I am taking home more money". #my2cents

        24 replies 1 retweet 21 likes
      4. Tweet unavailable
      5. Mike Green‏ @Green_Recruiter 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @bazu @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        LOL "I'm melting!" hahaha are trying to hurt my feelings with insults? #MAGA

        9 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      6. Tweet unavailable
      7. Mike Green‏ @Green_Recruiter 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @bazu @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        Cool, then I'm sorry I thought you were calling me brain-dead, glad I was wrong! #GOPWIN enjoy your increased take home pay :)

        8 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
      8. Tweet unavailable
      9. Joe K‏ @JoeKuglerTN 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @bigpibb @Green_Recruiter and

        Classic millennial. Lol they “deserve” more. So if it’s only 20 bucks and that’s little to no change than what it was why are you so upset? Sounds like nothing affected you at all.

        14 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      10. 15 more replies
      1. New conversation
      2. j-dsa☭ #August21‏ @frakincaprica 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @DariaButGay @SpeakerRyan

        There are people here squirming about the imagery. YOU KNOW THIS TAX BILL KILLS PEOPLE RIGHT? WAKE THE FUCK UP. YOURE NEED FOR CIVILITY DOESNT MATTER.

        4 replies 6 retweets 273 likes
      3. Johan  🐱‏ @J00h44n 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @frakincaprica @TheOnion @DariaButGay

        We need this sort of imagery for people to wake up and see that they're literally being killed by the actions of Trump and the GOP.

        0 replies 3 retweets 38 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Johnny Catsh‏ @John_C_Catsh 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        pic.twitter.com/CtBKitmOFV

        0 replies 42 retweets 167 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. and you feel shame‏ @ShootItGonchar 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        "*gurgle* At least we..*gurgle* owned the libs *gurgle* *gurgle*"

        1 reply 2 retweets 155 likes
      3. Part Time Virtue Signaller‏ @TonyRxxx 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @ShootItGonchar @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        That's actually a liberal's throat getting slit, because now the liberal has to start finding a job instead of relying on other people's taxes.

        15 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Madman In A Blue Box LUVS 13  ❤️‏ @AnOldLefty 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TonyRxxx @ShootItGonchar and

        I thought we were all rich, coastal weathy elites.

        2 replies 0 retweets 26 likes
      5. and you feel shame‏ @ShootItGonchar 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @AnOldLefty @TonyRxxx and

        Schrodinger's liberal. The ivory tower millionaire elitist that is poor enough to receive welfare.

        0 replies 1 retweet 35 likes
      6. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info