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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 19 Dec 2017

    Non-Dominant Hand Completely Botches Nail Clipping Job https://trib.al/3vwrV0W pic.twitter.com/X5EuZxV42Q

    7:52 PM - 19 Dec 2017
    • 677 Retweets
    • 4,409 Likes
    • 105 Sports ⏱ James Curley EricL Eliza Ossolinski katy 😖 Deniz Martina Zani Jared Troy
    28 replies 677 retweets 4,409 likes
      1. Ellen Pratt‏ @Smellen84 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Don't even get me started with the eyeliner...

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. Shamblerino‏ @chrispugsly 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The only thing I read in that title was "hand job". 😌

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Geebin Hawking‏ @GregBower5 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @_davidely

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Esteban‏ @iTossSteel 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        So true

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Steven H. Maines™‏ @steven_maines 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You get me. You really GET me.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jamin‏ @Jambo_11 Jan 11
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Isn't that always the case? The nails on my left hand look fine. On my right hand, not so much.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Christine‏ @yamirenamon 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        For me, holding the clippers differently with my non-dominant hand is required to prevent this. Holding it with your index and middle finger over the movable part instead of your thumb.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Luke Menter‏ @LukeMenter 21 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Do people actually clip their nails into the sink?!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Kelcey Zacarese‏ @Kelcey_Lately 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is giving me anxiety to think about

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Sarah Plain And Tall‏ @saraplaindtalll 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @notTroyBolton

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Joseph Abdoney‏ @AbdoneyPony 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @courtneyabdoney breaking news

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. MIchael‏ @ForeverRambling 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The only thing that your non-dominant had is good for, is for pretending that there is someone else in bed with you at night...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Shaun‏ @shauniedarko666 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @marleywackerly

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Christine Roy‏ @ccroy2001 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Just wait till it tries to paint those nails -- comedy gold!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. John Nordberg‏ @DogJohnRules 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @tomecurran

        you need to use the file afterwards. It is tedious, but works well. especially on the corner. I have to cut mine when I see 1/32" of white. i don't know how a man can let his nails grow to a 1/8"...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ken van horn‏ @Kenvanhorn2 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That happens to me all the time

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Robinson‏ @heartadarkness 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Story of my life.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. yungfoxmain  ☄️キグナス ☄️ - New Eye’s Search‏ @VVideoneon 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There is such a thing?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Christian Carr‏ @tcarrsaved75 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You guys are nailing this 😉

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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