Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 19 Dec 2017

    Study Finds Chickens Would Have No Qualms About Caging, Eating Humans https://trib.al/ol0yIci pic.twitter.com/yD4sDIVBs0

    12:52 PM - 19 Dec 2017
    • 609 Retweets
    • 2,014 Likes
    • zzhcyr Frank DeLorca Misti Velvet kelsey Lou Mori Edward Vortigern Harold Duby Wookiee Librarian
    41 replies 609 retweets 2,014 likes
      1. Llama‏ @406Llama 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/QskCJ96EK0

        0 replies 2 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Mike Short ⚖️ 🌊‏ @mike_shortjd 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Cows too:pic.twitter.com/W4U5kpmz7y

        1 reply 1 retweet 12 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. George Henderson‏ @puddleg 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I still haven't forgiven their ancestors the dinosaurs for eating my ancestors the cavemen.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Fred Fredburger‏ @KaBucchi 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        In a related study, chickens also acknowledge that they would go extinct if not for humans rabid consumption of their tender breasts and wings. If you want to save a species from extinction, add it to the McDonald's menu.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Authentic Don Holley™‏ @donholley0 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/pEY02fdDAM

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. NORTHERN LIGHTS‏ @NORTHER64691120 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @minotauresse

        🤣😆 how would they lile them? Fried ,Baked ??

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. NORTHERN LIGHTS‏ @NORTHER64691120 22 Dec 2017
        Replying to @NORTHER64691120 @TheOnion @minotauresse

        *like Fries with that?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. THIS IS FINE.‏ @boilerupacm 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Emily_Gray_ @Caleb__Hubbard

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ken‏ @cusebeach 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It’s us or them!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ben Greve‏ @benjamingreve 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I bet all those vegans feel pretty stupid now.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. x - Karl- The Ol’ ALFer  📎 🇨🇦‏ @perch35km 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I sure am glad we’re bigger than them

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Fish & Bicycles‏ @FishandBicycles 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The term “qualm” is vastly underutilized!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. yungfoxmain  ☄️キグナス ☄️ - New Eye’s Search‏ @VVideoneon 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Chickens are hype

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        First develop ray to enlarge chickens to 10 foot tall fire breathing monsters as steroids are not working fast enough. Arm them.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tracy Amadon  🌎 🎃 👑 🗿‏ @codebluebbq 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        t-rex

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. BigMan_OnCampus‏ @BigMan_OnCampus 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yes, and unlike Chickens, humans are easy to catch.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tom Servoid‏ @servomechx 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Who can blame them, after all the times they've had to watch Paul Ryan sodomize their family members.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. kytkios‏ @kytkios 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Good thing we struck before they could.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Doctor Edge‏ @dredgeatx 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I want to see a buddy comedy with those two chickens

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info