Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 19 Dec 2017

    Woman Probably Just Made Up Rape Story In Order To Get Threatening Emails https://trib.al/oDNPW8A pic.twitter.com/OMmSIe6lws

    7:11 AM - 19 Dec 2017
    • 831 Retweets
    • 3,670 Likes
    • Tara Jeffrey Annie Girard Alex Boyd B Gourmet Spud Munira Maricar Tess Kolp 👻spoopinhistory🎃 Catherine Spirk
    36 replies 831 retweets 3,670 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Snailed it!‏ @Super_shot97 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        not like some people have been caught faking it or anything

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Shannon Heuston‏ @Heustonmah 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Super_shot97 @TheOnion

        When only one out of 3 rapes get reported, I tend to think A LOT more women tend not to report their rape than falsely accuse someone.

        4 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. Snailed it!‏ @Super_shot97 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Heustonmah @TheOnion

        okay, that doesnt discredit the fact some are fake

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Shannon Heuston‏ @Heustonmah 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Super_shot97 @TheOnion

        Extremely few. You should be more worried about women being raped than you are about fake accusations. Only 1% of accusations are fake. When only 1 in 3 rapes are reported, that's a HUGE amount of rape

        2 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
      6. Snailed it!‏ @Super_shot97 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Heustonmah @TheOnion

        i am worried about people being raped, sure, but im talking about people faking an accusation of a very serious offence which, if it is fake, can ruin a mans life for no more reason then spite or hatred, also just because they are few doesnt mean they arent bad

        4 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      7. Snailed it!‏ @Super_shot97 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Super_shot97 @Heustonmah @TheOnion

        and its because of that 1 percent (which i have no idea if you made that up, your citation pls) of fakes we have to be skeptical to a degree and not just assume the accused is guilty

        2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      8. Shannon Heuston‏ @Heustonmah 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Super_shot97 @TheOnion

        When a thousand women are raped, we should totally disregard the 990 that were abused and focus instead on those poor ten men that may have been wrong accused. TOTALLY. The lives of 990 women are meaningless when compared to ten men.

        2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      9. Mary Newman‏ @marynewmanphoto 20 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Heustonmah @Super_shot97 @TheOnion

        Thank thank thank you @heustonmah

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      10. 2 more replies
      1. Ashlee‏ @r0ck3rgirl81 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Depressingly close to the reality of how victims are treated. So hard to write satire in a world that has become a parody of itself.

        0 replies 0 retweets 17 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mr. Mxyzptlk‏ @niggiwwerdna 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Insurance companies have stopped paying out all policies citing a 3% rate of fraud.

        0 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Jay Hell  ☠‏ @FiZzLE030 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @AlexTweeterMan

        Don't forget the guy who has to go to jail now.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Momofthehour‏ @TheMomoftheHour 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @FiZzLE030 @TheOnion @AlexTweeterMan

        You mean one of the 3 out of every thousand that gets convicted?

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      4. Jay Hell  ☠‏ @FiZzLE030 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheMomoftheHour @TheOnion @AlexTweeterMan

        One of the three that we know of.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Momofthehour‏ @TheMomoftheHour 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @FiZzLE030 @TheOnion @AlexTweeterMan

        Yes. Considering how many sexual assaults go unreported, it is probably actually fewer than 3/1000 assailants who get convicted. But using the stats we have, 997 assailants walk free out of every 1000.

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      6. Jay Hell  ☠‏ @FiZzLE030 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheMomoftheHour @TheOnion @AlexTweeterMan

        I'll just shut up now and agree with you before you accuse me of sexual assault and ruin my life.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. Ed Latorre‏ @DrWifeQuotes 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @FiZzLE030 @TheMomoftheHour and

        You're doing a good enough job of it on your own. also, your comics are amateurish and juvenile

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      8. Jay Hell  ☠‏ @FiZzLE030 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @DrWifeQuotes @TheMomoftheHour and

        Wow. You really scrolled that far to find comics I made over a year ago.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      9. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Tony D‏ @biff725 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She's all yours, yikes.

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Nicolas Ortiz‏ @myownworstanime 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @biff725 @TheOnion

        i’m sure your guitar pick collection would really turn her on too

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Shawn Mahoney‏ @Crim_88 19 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh boy can't wait to read this tweets comments for the rest of the day.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info