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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 15 Dec 2017

    CNN Investigating Reports Of Wolf Blitzer’s Highly Proper Sexual Conduct https://trib.al/4YqeQ3V pic.twitter.com/LPPrnkWNrw

    8:25 AM - 15 Dec 2017
    • 320 Retweets
    • 1,850 Likes
    • Prince Prince mir&a NemesisEnforcer Teddy Tenenbaum Em Keen Michael Jecmen (((abby))) DiogenesHnyBadgr🌊 FernwoodNiblick
    36 replies 320 retweets 1,850 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Scott REDRUM Gibbs  📚‏ @ScottNGibbs 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "Barring any unforeseen objections, I'm going to enter you now. Let's proceed."

        1 reply 1 retweet 38 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Scott REDRUM Gibbs  📚‏ @ScottNGibbs 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @JeanLR @TheOnion

        LOL It's disturbingly easy to do.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Bella Donna  🍷‏ @DonnaMLanglais 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well, hello Wolfie! My # is 867-5309!pic.twitter.com/AbOVcy5R8U

        3 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
      3. BGM_FinalKnight‏ @bertm1975 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @DonnaMLanglais @TheOnion

        🎶 🎶 Jenny I've got your number I need to make you mine Jenny don't change your number 🎶 🎶

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. A.W.‏ @Aaron_Wilson2 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I don’t think I’ve ever seen Wolf Blitzer smile before.

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Fullmetalarchivist‏ @PaulHeffernan2 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        With a name like that there's no way that man could conduct himself in a less than stellar manner

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. INTJ_Emma‏ @intj_jones 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This part is hilarious: "always considerate, interactions with women deliberately well outside his department, making sure to receive enthusiastic consent at every step before ultimately bringing each of the women to a shuddering climax"

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. INTJ_Emma‏ @intj_jones 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @intj_jones @TheOnion

        Though on second thought I'm not sure I want to think of Wolf Blitzer having sex 🤔

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. KSS, MD, PhD‏ @KSSMDPhD 16 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He's never had sex.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Vote November 6th 🌊 🌊 🌊‏ @TheresaBravo8 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hilarious love this!!😁

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. rob cooper‏ @crcooprob 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Pig. He's gotta go...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Ken van horn‏ @Kenvanhorn2 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wonder how many will come forward

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. BReese‏ @bonniesue65 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And Im hearing as yet unconfirmed reports that the veteran news man thoughtfully allowed his besotted partner to, occasionally, ruffle the silver mane in the heat of passion. When our sources confirm this allegation, we will bring it to you. Stay tuned.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply

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