I did two years in prison for teaching people how to pass a polygraph test because gov't polygraph thugs often call truthful people liars. So, if these guys will get their dad @realDonaldTrump to grant me a pardon I'll teach them how to pass on a real polygraph instrument.
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Afterwards they climbed into the dryer to clear their thoughts ...pic.twitter.com/XWyZibdgPJ
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Too funny! Thank you The Onion!!’
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Oh my my my. You guys really did it this time. I did a double take before I saw this was an Onion article. This might honestly be true.
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The best method is to send a light electrical current through your body. Use a pulse modulator to match the base line.
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Use the Roomba to clean your plate of veggies.
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One of those Onion stories people might mistake for something real
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@JackWaldo @xWilldabeast this is my all time favorite onion headline -
I like how they kept him in the tactical hunting vest
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my favorite is the roomba and the feminine pads!!!
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LMFAO!
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HAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!
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Roomba knows all.
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Flip and Flop..Bro’s..


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