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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 13 Dec 2017

    Financial Advisor Recommends Keeping One Bullet In Chamber Just In Case https://trib.al/8YS2NPJ pic.twitter.com/oQyuscuCiF

    4:00 PM - 13 Dec 2017
    • 414 Retweets
    • 1,613 Likes
    • Jason swagmastergeo Carlos Toro Pikajew Jenna Chase Chris Copen The Crimson Beard Sodding Pillock CHECKDADDY
    29 replies 414 retweets 1,613 likes
      1. G G Griffith‏ @ElectricChimp 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'll never forget a marine staff sergeant teaching us this. Except, as far as I remember, it wasn't about financial planning 😁

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Zach (TheDIG) 🌊‏ @ZachTheDIG 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Jesus. That's dark.

        1 reply 0 retweets 10 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. AztecGrimRink‏ @AztecGrimRink 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I wish my advisor wouldn't tell me this so often. Ot at least that he wouldn't give me bullets as presents on every occasion. Worst birthday ever. Why did I even invite him?!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        NRA recommends six. Just in case you miss.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. JensBigCitySoundtrack‏ @JenafurS 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        dilly dilly!! 🤣

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Andrew Jefferson‏ @kf23maga 14 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @notthefakeDH

        Send this to Bob

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Johnny Offseason‏ @JohnnySports2 14 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Feels like my therapist and financial advisor are always giving me conflicting advice

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. joseph boyd‏ @josphboyd 14 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "...while at the minimum, investors will want to have a single bullet in the chamber for themselves, ideally, individuals should make sure they have enough so the whole family is taken care of." You can always count on the onion to think of the children.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Adan Garcia‏ @Culalam 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Especially if you bought Bitcoin.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Yasser Khan‏ @y3khan 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not funny at all

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Been peeking at my 401K again??

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. M‏ @ICExMikey 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There can be only one. You cant put 2 in there

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. David Holbrook‏ @davidbholbrook 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @richtoscano why don’t I get this kind of advice from you?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Harry‏ @hjska22 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @duvy5

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Spookergerber  👻‏ @Flerbergerber 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Me @spookedsara

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      2. Hallowdean C ن‏ @constans 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I’m that friend who shares dark humor on social media, and this is too dark even for me

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply

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