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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 12 Dec 2017

    Eons Of Darwinian Evolution Somehow Produce Mitch https://trib.al/Ki4SMRi pic.twitter.com/P4bVRq4PQc

    4:00 PM - 12 Dec 2017
    • 410 Retweets
    • 1,985 Likes
    • emily sara How About No Jacqueline McAleer Matt Riddle Ben Baaske Daisy Gabriel Alexa
    30 replies 410 retweets 1,985 likes
      1. Skip Tognetti but with a pumpkin at the end  🎃‏ @togneter 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hate to be a nitpicker, but you guys ran the wrong photo. Simple mistake. Happens all the time.pic.twitter.com/xTapKwyLxs

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. PJ‏ @Johnson21800 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @heyyychachi @KleinTime69 @JordanRaddant

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. ¢ha¢hi‏ @heyyychachi 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Johnson21800 @TheOnion and

        damn, this one hit home

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Abbie Gobeli‏ @ACertainAbbie 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        lol @mitchimightbee ?

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Mith  🎃‏ @mitchimightbee 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @ACertainAbbie @TheOnion

        LOL!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Mitch‏ @mitchellMMCG 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Why you gotta do me like that

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Nick Hardebeck‏ @nickhardebeck 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @throwin_BENJMNS

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Capt Augie‏ @ayellowbeard 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This pic was the next tweet down but works much better!pic.twitter.com/YCkzPEyla7

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Colin O’Brien‏ @cpatobrien 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @mitchkulczak

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Grace Pickron‏ @gracepickron 15 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @aarongordon12 @its_jess_1 @r_white_

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jeremy Edwards‏ @J_Roc1971 14 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yeah, unfortunately survival of the fittest is no longer in play. The gene pool is more and more diluted by people that, would normally have been killed or gotten sick and died, are now reproducing. The very mechanism of evolution is now bypassed, so Mitch happens.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Darwinian evolution is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you are going to get.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Shannon Giovannone‏ @ShannonGiov 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @AprilFuul

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. okay Mitch, a ghost now, sure‏ @AprilFuul 13 Dec 2017
        Replying to @ShannonGiov @TheOnion

        the rumors are true

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Mr Magoo‏ @mag00ver 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I just absolutely PISSED MYSELF reading this! Literally could not breathe. I thought I was going to have a heart attack at one stage, but survived. Please keep my tenuous hold on mortality going for now. Thank you

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Philip W.‏ @linksalefty 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @mbodmer

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Peter Grant‏ @StinkyandEddie 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I think he's related to my boss. Does Mitch have a soul? Boss doesn't.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. margot‏ @kmaelawrence 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @mitch_rossiter 😬

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Matty‏ @expiredeggnog 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh my god. I think I found my long lost father.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Manjit S. Toor  🇨🇦‏ @manjit_toor98 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Experts are baffled, continue to research phenomenon.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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