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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 11 Dec 2017

    Senior Getting Great Funeral Ideas From Friends https://trib.al/gzO8nO2 pic.twitter.com/qAfbMZ7YPP

    7:48 PM - 11 Dec 2017
    • 93 Retweets
    • 748 Likes
    • Garrett Varanelli CIG SOMMELIER (BLACK 👽)BTFD Chris Davenport Pierre-Simon Laplace sensei bean meghan moore molly absrdNEWS Lory
    14 replies 93 retweets 748 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Rex Banner‏ @Inspectjavert 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If its legal I want to be wrapped in a burlap sack and buried in the shallowest grave possible. I am DEAD it doesn't matter what my accommodation are... Also I want my family's inheritance to be spent on fun things not a funeral.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. ViiStar‏ @VIIStar_ 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Inspectjavert @TheOnion

        It depends where you are, but more places are accommodating natural burials. http://www.orderofthegooddeath.com/  will have more info and lead you in the right direction 😁💀

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Rex Banner‏ @Inspectjavert 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @VIIStar_ @TheOnion

        I had no idea that existed :D Though hopefully I won't need your services for a very long time.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. ViiStar‏ @VIIStar_ 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @Inspectjavert @TheOnion

        No worries! While it's not my website, I do hope it'll be a while before they're necessary... BUT it's never too early to let your loved ones know your wishes and to make your Advanced Directives, especially if you have specific wants for burial. ^u^

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1. Peter M. Gatliff‏ @RailrodeMike 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        5. Forced tomake decision for DNR delayed getting Chemo. We dont have a health care system. We have legalized genocide for the $$

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. JACK WOLF‏ @JackWolf57 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bet they're all Republicans too - they seem to have a death wish.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. HallOfGlory‏ @Hall0fGlory 12 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When I die I want my family and friends to be force fed my corpse so they know that I'll always be with them.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Killer Rabbit from Caerbannog‏ @the_other_bunny 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Same

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Evan Stansen‏ @yummyyo 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The last paragraph is is just so depressingly funny

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. ViiStar‏ @VIIStar_ 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I want to be cremated with my plush sharks and ashes cast out by the Farallones. I'd have them chum me but that's probably not legal.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. G Smitty‏ @Thebigguy360 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Best idea is to let the friends go first.... If you’re the last one standing, you can pick the best ideas, and no one will be there to judge you...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Peter M. Gatliff‏ @RailrodeMike 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        4. All I have is Meficare. So cremate my ass, put me in a coffes can bury next to my wife in Iowa. She died age 36

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Peter M. Gatliff‏ @RailrodeMike 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        3. Half a dozen doctors to get a primary care doctor turned down "Not taking any new patients" after I told them

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Peter M. Gatliff‏ @RailrodeMike 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        2. Simply turned it off, 30,000 for a new one, hospital yook blood damples let them set & unable to test them

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Peter M. Gatliff‏ @RailrodeMike 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        1. Well they gave me my death sentence. Mutual of 9maha turned me down for Medicare Pt B, battery out on defibulator, MedTronic .

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. CJ‏ @pnwrunnerlass 11 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        oh my

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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