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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 4 Dec 2017

    ‘Football Saved My Life,’ Says Man Who Will Be Left Paralyzed By Sport https://trib.al/HT0OqSA pic.twitter.com/V9a9T4l7kO

    10:47 AM - 4 Dec 2017
    • 387 Retweets
    • 2,015 Likes
    • Obi McDowell 🌹🎈 Winston Gambro Peter Allen Baxter Jeremy D. Engquist finbarr macmillan eKohnomics Jane Burns 🎃Spookmaster Wiggly🎃
    16 replies 387 retweets 2,015 likes
      1. spoopy effect ed‏ @thehavenworks 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Football was the greatest part of my life. Except for when I broke my leg. And the brain damage. And the brain damage. And the brain damage. And the brain damage. What were we talking about again?

        0 replies 1 retweet 6 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Alexis Flower‏ @alexisflower 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        man I feel the Onion's grip on both English and irony very abruptly slipped in the past two weeks

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Alexis Flower‏ @alexisflower 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @alexisflower @TheOnion

        ahhttps://mic.com/articles/184848/the-onion-editor-in-chief-resigns-reportedly-over-differences-with-univision-ownership#.uO8lsVEgs …

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Morgana‏ @SawatariMichiru 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @alexisflower @TheOnion

        That was more than two months ago.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Alexis Flower‏ @alexisflower 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @SawatariMichiru @TheOnion

        Yeah, maybe these changes are just now showing in the content though? I'm looking for a reason they're suddenly punching down and writing so sloppily.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      6. a ghost or some shit‏ @RyanNorthPole 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @alexisflower @SawatariMichiru @TheOnion

        No idea how you could consider this "punching down." Football is a violent game, and at all levels there is a callous disregard for player health. Think that is the target here.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      7. Alexis Flower‏ @alexisflower 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @RyanNorthPole @SawatariMichiru @TheOnion

        I read this one like the joke is on the player cuz the very thing that saved his life will paralyze him. I can sort of read it your way, but for as long as I've read the Onion I don't remember having to parse out so much tasteless or half-baked stuff as in the past month.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      8. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. That One Guy‏ @thatoneguy2440 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TwistedPrime

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Twisted Prime‏ @TwistedPrime 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @thatoneguy2440 @TheOnion

        lmao, I was looking at this while you tagged me

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. rickytanman‏ @shortyguy13 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Jeez this is creepy with what just happened.....

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Mye Krennish‏ @MyeKrennish 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ok, this is eerie in context of tonight...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Justin M‏ @xakazonaex 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Football played an immense role in my life and development. It also has given me chronic pain, a bad knee, and probably some brain damage from those concussions I shook off with 800mg of ibuprofen handed out by the coach.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Cullen‏ @InstinctCullen 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @GM_Wiggly

        But at least half of him is alive.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Kris Campbell‏ @I_am_Kris 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Prophetic piece by the onion in light of tonight's national tragedy of a Monday night NFL game.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Beelzebubbed Eggs‏ @JonkJahnson 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        the odds of this piece being published today of all days have to be astronomical

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. ZEROUATI MOHAMED ELMONDJI‏ @ARMEEDE12SINGES 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @tonton_phil

        La justice militaire est franche, rapide, elle dé cide à la turque, et juge presque toujours bien.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. The Grey Man‏ @GreyConscience 4 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Such an amazing story!! Another soul saved from the scourge of future opioid abuse due to injury and/or another case of traumatic encephalopathy. #mysteriousways

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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