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The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 22 Nov 2017

    New Historical Evidence Suggests Most Pilgrims Sailed Back Home To Celebrate First Thanksgiving https://trib.al/WwPXz4p pic.twitter.com/LoEiR9LV23

    6:08 AM - 22 Nov 2017
    • 431 Retweets
    • 1,925 Likes
    • GulfSouthEstates Lorenzo Dungca Peter Value Eduardo Da Rocha Donna LeClerc Supply And The Brand Tina Birnie janeÞ Alt_McMasterDisaster @OGO5111
    21 replies 431 retweets 1,925 likes
      1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 22 Nov 2017

        Historians said that newly uncovered documents indicate that most pilgrims sailed back to Europe in the fall of 1623 to celebrate the first Thanksgiving at home. https://trib.al/hRVtNVo pic.twitter.com/wa9Pmd0EMq

        3 replies 73 retweets 242 likes
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      1. the.effing.librarian‏ @effinglibrarian 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I have a letter from an ancestor that discusses the trip back to Europe was for the "amazing doorbusters on waistcoats and breeches" on the day after Thanksgiving.

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. Kurt Bodling‏ @KurtBodling 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @MassimoFaggioli

        Three months before Thanksgiving has always been the busiest day of the year down at the docks. I thought everybody knew that.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. brittnie marie‏ @brhootnie 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They actually just went to @CrackerBarrel to have a chill stress-free #thanksgiving

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Mark Mueller‏ @MarkMuells 23 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @jamiemorgan46

        Not real pilgrims

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. BOBBY WIT THAT TOOL.‏ @xeauxeau 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        BYE LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Andrew Ridgway‏ @andrewdridgway 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And do laundry.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1.  🇵🇷 [UNDEAD] David Beltrán‏ @DavidBeltran718 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Lmao

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Sasha Sheinsohn‏ @SashaSheinsohn 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sasha says: "New historical evidence suggests that @TheOnion is a big fat liar and that most Congressmen are too stupid to know that so they treat it as fact."pic.twitter.com/uiml59alHp

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Declan Rowe‏ @Grimshroom 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @RubberNinja sail back home to us

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Melissa Blake‏ @melissajblake 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hence the First Thanksgiving Travel Weekend

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Adolf Sanchez‏ @CutAnchors 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The point being?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jeremy Edwards‏ @J_Roc1971 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Why is this not about sexual harassment?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Petey Isom‏ @PeteyIsom 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If they found here by mistake how do we know they found thier way back home.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dianne Gruber‏ @DianneGruber 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yes, @realDonaldTrump was the captain and the other sailors pulled a mutiny. He landed in a group of alligators, the only thing that was left was an ugly ball cap 🧢.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Rusty Rimm‏ @rusty_rimm 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That is why Thanksgiving is HUGE in Europe. England is forever grateful for the pilgrims. Troof yo!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Rob Z Tobor‏ @Rob_Z_Tobor 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Homer's odd at sea.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Who is Chris Cutts?‏ @RealChrisCutts 22 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is racsist, probably.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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