Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 20 Nov 2017

    George R.R. Martin Announces Next Book To Feature Pixies, Dracula https://trib.al/CXilPfw pic.twitter.com/R4ZuWfzi6T

    9:11 AM - 20 Nov 2017
    • 121 Retweets
    • 621 Likes
    • janeÞ Alt_McMasterDisaster @OGO5111 witchytherapist Henna “it’s basically Halloween” Sandhu Murray Casey Siddiq Mohamed Jason John “Haunted” Beers III Gat Parrett’s Sh33pskin Emporium
    28 replies 121 retweets 621 likes
      1. Sam Haunted Haus‏ @schmuyle 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If this meant the book was actually coming out I would honestly allow it at this point.

        0 replies 1 retweet 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. bojak90‏ @bojak90 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm sure my grandkids will love it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Shane Hoyle‏ @Shane_Hoyle74 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        So long as Kim Deal is back in the line up.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. That One Guy‏ @thatoneguy2440 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I can't wait. It's gonna be a club banger. @TwistedPrime would know! #hypepic.twitter.com/QK84s3045s

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. John Antony Negrón Please, Vote On November 6th!‏ @JohnNegron1 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        https://youtu.be/-gkibxWr0DY  🧛🏻‍♂️

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Rob Leduc‏ @rleduc123 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Before he kills them all.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Gazoo‏ @ejwinder 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And the research into getting the Pixies just right will only add 10 years to the publication date!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tomas Laverty‏ @lavurty 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Main characters named: Robbis, Dannen. Martin stated he'd "just add a fucking 'en' or 'is' on the end of any old name."

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. D Jones-Dixon.‏ @overstandbasics 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ahh, a True Blood fanfic then?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. andrast‏ @an_draste 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        is george rr martin secretly a hobbit?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Timefoxrox‏ @Phoenixmoona 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He should do a book on Count Duckula, I think now is his time to be ressurected.pic.twitter.com/CpZDet6DMh

        This media may contain sensitive material. Learn more
        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. J. Rose‏ @smaze94357 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What, no 20 course meals, rapey old pervs, and strangely conflicted teenage dragons?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. RJ GORE-rison ♿‏ @Are_Jay___ 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bolt-on confirmed!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Arron Stritesky‏ @ohblondeone82 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wow, that’s harsh. Someone at the onion must really be over GOT

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tre Armstrong‏ @Wgzom 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        As long as the book is actually released before I die, he can write whatever he wants in it

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Robert M. Berry‏ @JayhawkBob13 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And it will be completed by Christmas... of 2027....

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Colin McDonald‏ @colinm4c 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought the Onion was supposed to be satire

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bohous‏ @Bohous 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Joke's on you. He already wrote a Dracula book for real (Fevre Dream). It would have befitted from some Pixies and Millennium Falcon tho.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. dan camp‏ @tory7007 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        already done..."True Blood"

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info