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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 17 Nov 2017

      Trump Privately Terrified His Sexual Assault Victims Will Someday Come Forward https://trib.al/K8dw887 pic.twitter.com/LZ0dgsXwaL

      82 replies 727 retweets 2,723 likes
      Show this thread
      The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 17 Nov 2017

      "I’m honestly scared of what would happen if one day I’m accused publicly by 10 or maybe even more women whom I’ve harassed or assaulted in the past.” https://trib.al/45IsfuJ pic.twitter.com/C5G8uoYyUJ

      8:14 PM - 17 Nov 2017
      • 222 Retweets
      • 866 Likes
      • Brendan Ware K. Skoobs Pierre-Simon Laplace Emma Bartholomew Lizzie Mongillo professional arguer Bjørn Larsen Chiller Vote November 6th
      15 replies 222 retweets 866 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. Warren Loves America‏ @39wdsss 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Quality shitpost, but still unfollowed.

          2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Michael Shambo‏ @MikeShambo 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @39wdsss @TheOnion

          What!?...No!?...how can The Onion afford to lose such a high-quality person like baseball cap, selfie guy?

          1 reply 0 retweets 29 likes
        4. Warren Loves America‏ @39wdsss 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @MikeShambo @TheOnion

          That was a good one, but you should work on your platform Mr. Karaoke Singing Dramatic Photograph Taking Michael.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        5. Michael Shambo‏ @MikeShambo 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @39wdsss @TheOnion

          Thank you for taking the time to capitalize my full name correctly.

          0 replies 0 retweets 17 likes
        6. End of conversation
        1. 50 states club‏ @50statesclub50 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          when real life is weirder than @TheOnion

          0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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        1. New conversation
        2. Peter‏ @Minus777 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Isn't that defamation against Trump? Oh that's right, no such thing as defamation anymore. Everything is fact. #GlobalMadness

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. Tweet unavailable
        4. Peter‏ @Minus777 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @countBlazeD @TheOnion

          Because I know for a fact there are no current allegations.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        5. Li Li‏ @OG_LiLi_Lisa 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @Minus777 @countBlazeD @TheOnion

          I don't know which post is worst. The one where you think satire doesn't exist or the one where you deny the current allegations don't exist.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        6. Peter‏ @Minus777 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @OG_LiLi_Lisa @countBlazeD @TheOnion

          I understand it's satire. I was actually serious. It must be close to defamation.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        7. Li Li‏ @OG_LiLi_Lisa 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @Minus777 @countBlazeD @TheOnion

          You mean because it's based upon real allegations?

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        8. Peter‏ @Minus777 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @OG_LiLi_Lisa @countBlazeD @TheOnion

          Not real allegations. Let me go read it again later. I'll get back to you.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        9. 5 more replies
        1. New conversation
        2. Jamie Bollenbacher‏ @JamieBollenbac1 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          This sentence is far too coherent and complete to be a quote from Trump. Come on Onion, try harder!

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Anastas2002‏ @anastas2002 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @JamieBollenbac1 @TheOnion

          That's the joke.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        4. Jamie Bollenbacher‏ @JamieBollenbac1 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @anastas2002 @TheOnion

          I was also mainly joking, though I hadn't read the whole thing yet.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        5. Anastas2002‏ @anastas2002 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @JamieBollenbac1 @TheOnion

          Damn this text-based media and its limitations! *shakes fists at sky*

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        6. End of conversation
        1. New conversation
        2. Mitch Rightman‏ @DickStickman 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Does this even count as satire? This is just plain-jane reality.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. FloLo‏ @Chun_Karoliina 18 Nov 2017
          Replying to @DickStickman @TheOnion

          The satire is, that he ain’t afraid of nothing and there never will be any consequences 😣

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation
        1. Cat‏ @Catthebookfairy 17 Nov 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Man, you just depressed me something fierce.

          0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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