Trump Privately Terrified His Sexual Assault Victims Will Someday Come Forward https://trib.al/K8dw887 pic.twitter.com/LZ0dgsXwaL
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Quality shitpost, but still unfollowed.
What!?...No!?...how can The Onion afford to lose such a high-quality person like baseball cap, selfie guy?
That was a good one, but you should work on your platform Mr. Karaoke Singing Dramatic Photograph Taking Michael.
Thank you for taking the time to capitalize my full name correctly.
when real life is weirder than @TheOnion
Isn't that defamation against Trump?
Oh that's right, no such thing as defamation anymore. Everything is fact.
#GlobalMadness
Because I know for a fact there are no current allegations.
I don't know which post is worst. The one where you think satire doesn't exist or the one where you deny the current allegations don't exist.
I understand it's satire. I was actually serious. It must be close to defamation.
You mean because it's based upon real allegations?
Not real allegations. Let me go read it again later. I'll get back to you.
This sentence is far too coherent and complete to be a quote from Trump. Come on Onion, try harder!
That's the joke.
I was also mainly joking, though I hadn't read the whole thing yet.
Damn this text-based media and its limitations! *shakes fists at sky*
Does this even count as satire? This is just plain-jane reality.
The satire is, that he ain’t afraid of nothing and there never will be any consequences 
Man, you just depressed me something fierce.
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