Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 17 Nov 2017

    Parents Gently Explain To Son Why Family Dog Had To Be Blown Up With Dynamite https://trib.al/cTmXB1M pic.twitter.com/HlAJIqxfTS

    11:28 AM - 17 Nov 2017
    • 577 Retweets
    • 2,459 Likes
    • Anthony Ekes chris Brendan Ware FNR jelliott Luke Overfelt Yoni Goldwasser Pierre-Simon Laplace Cade Silvey
    41 replies 577 retweets 2,459 likes
      1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 17 Nov 2017

        "Rocky was old and in a lot of pain, so your father and I had to blow him up last night." https://trib.al/wwwUjMq pic.twitter.com/YHKe4hydmi

        12 replies 48 retweets 318 likes
        Show this thread
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Daniela 💕 ❤️‏ @daniela_4life 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wait that’s photoshopped

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Forrest Danger Ⓥ‏ @2xfo 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @daniela_4life @TheOnion

        I didn't even see the hole before this. 😅

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Daniela 💕 ❤️‏ @daniela_4life 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @2xfo @TheOnion

        This is all so fake

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. Forrest Danger Ⓥ‏ @2xfo 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @daniela_4life @TheOnion

        Don't be too alarmed, The Onion is a joke publication. It's meant for fun.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      6. Daniela 💕 ❤️‏ @daniela_4life 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @2xfo @TheOnion

        Ok

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      7. End of conversation
      1. Donald Meyer‏ @tofly4wifi 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Rest in pieces Rusty!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. JimK is jk (wants2 🚴‍♂️ 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿)‏ @peskypedaler 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        not funny...I got the same explanation about the family Whale back in 69. i've never been the same about sea mammals...

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Gashlycrumb Timmies‏ @timtimbre 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ebruenig came upon this in my feed

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Gashlycrumb Timmies‏ @timtimbre 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @timtimbre @TheOnion @ebruenig

        pic.twitter.com/YLfLhWmI3o

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Sj Bennett‏ @guruknapsuck 18 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I wonder if the explosion sounded more like "woof "than whoosh!

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ken Porter‏ @KensAudioBoston 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is dark, even by Onion standards. Maybe a goldfish or hamster... Why do you have to cross arbitrary lines that no one agrees on?

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jack Hewett‏ @Jack_R_Hewett 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "Trust us.... He had a blast".

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. 2centsannandale‏ @2centsannandale 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Someone at The Onion has a penchant for vile "jokes" about cruelty to animals & it's not funny, just vile.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lycan Lesbian‏ @gaykarliah 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bad post

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. PetraB‏ @n_beiner 18 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not Funny, Interesting, but Troublesome! Love Onion, however Trying to Understand if Story is showing Stupid Parent's, Contact Humane Society, Child Abuse Prevention & Be Ashamed of MYSELF for Reading THIS one from the Onion! This one was too much Onion.

        2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Dunkleosteus‏ @TFC_Dunk 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @n_beiner @TheOnion

        oh, i added a W

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. PetraB‏ @n_beiner 20 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TFC_Dunk @TheOnion

        Sorry... I've got Parkinson's

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. max‏ @havekostmax 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @colincareyy

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Colin Carey‏ @colincareyy 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @havekostmax @TheOnion

        NIKE “V a p o r i z e d”

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info