Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 17 Nov 2017

    Paul Ryan Announces New Congress Sexual Harassment Training Will Create Safe Work Atmosphere, Plausible Deniability https://trib.al/teV7zpv pic.twitter.com/eayS22o46O

    10:26 AM - 17 Nov 2017
    • 142 Retweets
    • 641 Likes
    • OldCrow🔹🌽 11alesseleven tenaciousmomma Pierre-Simon Laplace Ben Shan Fran Blanco Dee Hombre Gabriel Allen Ben Heerensperger
    Paul Ryan
    16 replies 142 retweets 641 likes
      1. Brandon Horan‏ @brandon_r_horan 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        This isn't even satire any longer 😩

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. William Lee Twitch‏ @WLTwitch_ 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        I heard he raped and murdered a 19 year old girl in 2009.

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Candy Corn Eater‏ @Exosynjii 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        This politician is going places!

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Patriot 🌵Covfefé  👍 ❤️ 🇺🇸 ✝️ 🇺🇸 ❤️ 👍 #JesusIsLord!‏ @Trump4Patriots 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @Exosynjii @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        Home for good?

        1 reply 1 retweet 0 likes
      4. Candy Corn Eater‏ @Exosynjii 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @Trump4Patriots @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        We don't want him back here. Maybe we can find a privately owned prison that will take him.

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Patriot 🌵Covfefé  👍 ❤️ 🇺🇸 ✝️ 🇺🇸 ❤️ 👍 #JesusIsLord!‏ @Trump4Patriots 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        Well I say to @SpeakerRyan, if they're already in #Congress they should know right from wrong! So don't waste the taxpayers money on classes to teach them what is right!

        1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Michele‏ @flybooknerd 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        This training will have NO EFFECT on a person who engages in sexual deviance and naturally has the propensity to engage in these acts. You cannot cure a disturbed mind via training.

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. VerLen and Sydney ♜‏ @Glorygirlone 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        Is that to stop the harassment or how to get away with it-training??? One has to ask.

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Ty Vulpine‏ @TyVulpintaur 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @EvensonCA @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        Who has no place in our government anyway. Be it Zeus, Jupiter, Ra, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, etc.

        2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. William Lee Twitch‏ @WLTwitch_ 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TyVulpintaur @EvensonCA and

        SILENCE SINNER! SHE'S TALKIN ABOUT LORD ZEVIUS IN ALL CAPS!

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Tweet unavailable
      5. Ty Vulpine‏ @TyVulpintaur 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @EvensonCA @WLTwitch_ and

        The self-contradicting Buy-Bull That supports slavery, suppression of women and promotes polygamy?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. Tweet unavailable
      7. Ty Vulpine‏ @TyVulpintaur 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @EvensonCA @WLTwitch_ and

        What proof do you have your god even exists? You don’t, that’s true thing. Thousands of religions have existed since the dawn of humanity. 0 have been proven to be true and 0 gods have been proven to be real.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      8. Ty Vulpine‏ @TyVulpintaur 17 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TyVulpintaur @EvensonCA and

        The Egyptians, The Aztecs, the Mayans, the Incas, The Romans, the Greeks, the Persians, The Christians, the Muslims, the Jews, the Hindu, etc. all claim or at one time claimed to be the true religion. None have been proven to be so.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      9. End of conversation
      1. Luke Morris‏ @lukemorris10 19 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @SpeakerRyan

        Donald Trumps asked him to teach everyone in Congress the correct way to grab them by the pussy 😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info