Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 16 Nov 2017

    Materialistic Single Mom Constantly Thinking Of Money https://trib.al/acqIJ9k pic.twitter.com/Ay6Mo8UGGd

    5:35 AM - 16 Nov 2017
    • 100 Retweets
    • 674 Likes
    • Trevor 🗡 Eliza Bathory gill. ✒️webfoot Beth Torres Molly Flood Gifthorse Dentist Lavender 🌒 DJ Birkin
    9 replies 100 retweets 674 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. wisewiz  ✊🏿 ✊🏻 💕‏ @wisewiz 16 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sad! There is more to life than money! Usually when one finally realizes this truth! It’s too late! Family & Friends is the best reward in life! Hands Down💯💕 nothing means nothing without my family I love you always & Forever💯💕pic.twitter.com/GOuPpyxaBS

        3 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Jeremy Edwards‏ @J_Roc1971 16 Nov 2017
        Replying to @wisewiz @TheOnion

        I think you’re missing the joke here.

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Brandon‏ @MoustacheMutiny 16 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/A7RIq4I04s

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tar Deux‏ @ArcaneAce 16 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ooooooh now I get it

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Kobina Mensah‏ @Kobbymens55 16 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What else is there to think abt, her absent man? #Kids Must Eat.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Anastas2002‏ @anastas2002 16 Nov 2017
        Replying to @Kobbymens55 @TheOnion

        You could think about the fact that The Onion is a satire news site.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Lauren Blair‏ @laurenhblair1 16 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I guess she needs to make wiser investments, maybe stay away from food and mommy and me classes, idk, ask Ivana

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Lauren Blair‏ @laurenhblair1 16 Nov 2017
        Replying to @laurenhblair1 @TheOnion

        Oops, Ivanka

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Ironopolis‏ @ironopolis69 16 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Americans seem to struggle with sarcasm, strange as you’re so wonderful at everything else...

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. @SpiderHam‏ @djpossess 16 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Some people need a 101 Level course on Irony/Sarcasm. Do you follow the @TheOnion or did this just show up in your feed?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. isidoro jose ignacio‏ @ignacio_isidoro 16 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        hahaha

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. David De La Hoz‏ @davidsgroza 16 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Too real.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info