You forgot the profits you can earn by selling all alarm clocks on eBay since you won’t need them any longer
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And most important of all, make sure he or she doesn't figure out how to use Twitter.
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I see what you did there with the EA situation
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To whichever Onion staff writer just adopted a puppy: You can come over to my house tonight to cry for a while, if you need.
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You forgot...remove teeth, claws and sex organs prior to releasing in your home
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