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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 14 Nov 2017

    Adrenaline Supply Intended For Lifting Car Off Loved One Called Upon To Carry 4 Grocery Bags At Once https://trib.al/iIEYjsL pic.twitter.com/3Z4Ee8bjEr

    12:15 PM - 14 Nov 2017
    • 251 Retweets
    • 1,353 Likes
    • Adriana Molano WOODLES backintheburbs Ileana McK Fjördan Ben Weinrib Lisa Butson Matt Charles Cadiz
    13 replies 251 retweets 1,353 likes
      1. Jeremy Edwards‏ @J_Roc1971 14 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is what prevents me from going to the gym. Those precious energy sources could potentially need to be called upon for a much greater purpose! Maybe.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Adam Fryer‏ @AdamFryer2 14 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @NickDouglas170 one trip or death

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Mary Ellen Davis‏ @RubyMcrae 6 Dec 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @csteffensen

        Italian grammas can carry eight bags through ten foot snow drifts.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Harald‏ @equalitus 14 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        At least the adrenaline is still a legal drug in the US, right? Or the guy might end up in the prison industrial complex.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ruth O  🐬‏ @rootzmac 14 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I wish one could call upon the wonders of adrenaline to do such important work!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Faux Cousins‏ @DjukaMatauri 14 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He squandered precious adrenaline for this?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dan Loya‏ @DanLoya1 14 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Unfortunately adrenaline saving plan was aborted when none of his family members owned a vehicle, sadly a school bus was headed towards his cat purtrude only moments later purtrude had meet his fate. Services will be held this Friday at AAASchool@ride safely

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Thick Lizzy is too silly to be spoopy!‏ @ThickLizzy 14 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He a hero!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Eric Muirhead‏ @emuirhead 14 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Risky move. Probably worth it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Steven Pam‏ @stevenpam 14 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @jockowillink this could happen to @echocharles

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. BigMan_OnCampus‏ @BigMan_OnCampus 14 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This means everyone should carry groceries for young, virile, strong firefighters.

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      1. Jason Voorhees  🎃‏ @JasonBoydWrites 14 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Only 4 bags?pic.twitter.com/BZ6f9m9bhJ

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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