I still admire Tom Hanks. They clearly had it coming.
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Yes the world is overpopulated anyways.
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Don’t even joke about
@tomhanks he is a national treasure




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National Treasure was Nicholas Cage. ;)
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This is awful. Everyone knows Onion headlines come true after 10 years.
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DAMMIT ONION THAT SH-T AINT FUNNY.
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Unless Hanks was involved in wiping out a terrorist cell of neo-Nazis planning to blow up a school bus full of nuns and puppies, this isn't a story we need to be waking up to, damn you.
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Ugh.. Is this the Twilight Zone or something because this is just messed up.
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Lol nope, never heard of them

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Odd, because the national online Onion is satire, but the print version (I'm from close enough to be familiar) is not... Threw me off!
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The last time I read a print version of The Onion, it was most definitely satire.
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