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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 12 Nov 2017

    FedEx Confirms More Than 600,000 People Try To Mail Themselves Each Year https://trib.al/NDanEVf pic.twitter.com/xANL8L2Bmu

    8:20 PM - 12 Nov 2017
    • 223 Retweets
    • 1,117 Likes
    • dubtokens Name cannot be blank marianna dumb fuck Ben Jeanethe Falvey jesus x Hyginx Carsten Varming
    28 replies 223 retweets 1,117 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. lelelom‏ @lelelom 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        So this is how one gets into Canada.

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. lelelom‏ @lelelom 13 Nov 2017

        IDK, health care looks pretty good from here.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Preemster‏ @yikes90909 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Make sure to fast for 36 hours at least

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Tom Shipley‏ @therealtomship 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        We all know how this ends:https://youtu.be/-qkM7Tp3IvY 

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Steve Fulton‏ @skfulton1138 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @therealtomship @TheOnion

        All? Well.. you, me, Marsha and Shelia know. Poor Waldo. That schmuck!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. GoldLuminance ☆‏ @GoldLuminance 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When my Mom said she was delivering the baby; this isn't exactly what I was expecting.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. burley yossarian‏ @burley20 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I'm still waiting for mine to arrive. She comes with all the extra's.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Joe Habor‏ @Joehabor 14 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Amazon Prime is the only way to be shipped. Sneak in and be shipped out. My weed never arrived though?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Ken Porter‏ @KensAudioBoston 13 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        But how would they possibly know that unless they *LOOK INSIDE OUR PACKAGES* ?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tom Shannon‏ @TjmShannon 13 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought it was just vampires in coffins being mailed

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dan de Brand‏ @DanDeBrand 13 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        What ... temps filling in today?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Jacob Beach‏ @Jbeach326 13 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        hey free shipping is free shipping

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 13 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And all to the same address.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Lily‏ @LilyFan189 13 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        hi,may I know your email?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. ScHoolboy F.‏ @gamino10 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Make that 600,001 😎

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. JJ‏ @jakesery 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Mail themselves what?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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