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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 12 Nov 2017

    Alignment Of 6,071 Completely Independent Variables Necessary For Man To Feel Okay https://trib.al/kIYxQeR pic.twitter.com/9bWc8ZcJL3

    7:20 PM - 12 Nov 2017
    • 412 Retweets
    • 1,878 Likes
    • ❣️ Name cannot be blank grant stiles Arfus blanken gringus not laura prepon dumb fuck jesus x Heather
    15 replies 412 retweets 1,878 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Brendan O'Hare‏ @brendohare 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Thats my friend Cory

        5 replies 0 retweets 182 likes
      3. cory snearowski‏ @corysnearowski 13 Nov 2017
        Replying to @brendohare @TheOnion

        Well, satire has taken me down. @realDonaldTrump, you're next

        0 replies 0 retweets 20 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Preemster‏ @yikes90909 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought I was supposed to be high maintenance , I only need 5,317 variables

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Walto‏ @WalterHorn 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        FWIW, that's only 47 more than than I need.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Matthew Yau‏ @matt_yau 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @YungLeeYungLee n=1

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. charismaticmegafauna‏ @emma_turdman 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        me but they're all crushes @BretteLennon

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Boss‏ @BossTheDoggo 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        All of his appliances are stainless steel so he can check that box

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Alexis Grasso‏ @ethscithre1 13 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ha! but, seriously, we ARE infrastructure-intense.

        0 replies 1 retweet 0 likes
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      1. Jeremy Edwards‏ @J_Roc1971 13 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        In a typical male, over 4000 of those variables are concerning the likelihood of him having sex that day.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. LoriM‏ @ooooommmmmm 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ya, how do we get through a day?!?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Leslie Whicher‏ @patinaandcompan 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Awesome piece of insight 😉

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. from the standpoint of water‏ @pvf234 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @kei8ht

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. keight‏ @kei8ht 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @pvf234 @TheOnion

        😂😂😂 I feel personally attacked by this article.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Brickman409‏ @mooseman409 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Me

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dr. Caternet Pumpkin‏ @nowthethingis 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Math joke, good one

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Dark Zen Thrill‏ @dark_thrill 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Men are simpler to understand actually ;_)

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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