Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 11 Nov 2017

    Paul Ryan Quickly Runs Tweet About Texas Shooting Past Wayne LaPierre Before Posting https://trib.al/Nbxr4k9 pic.twitter.com/bUjGQ3IMKZ

    6:30 PM - 11 Nov 2017
    • 198 Retweets
    • 734 Likes
    • The Indeterminator🌹 Berry Saville Katz Ava 🏳️‍🌈 Pierre-Simon Laplace Kᴜʀᴛ but like haloween themed Hooper Free Palestine R JR
    25 replies 198 retweets 734 likes
      1. Matthew Coller‏Verified account @MatthewColler 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        y'all get too close to the truth sometimes

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Common Sense‏ @BlowhardMcGee 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Tough year for you guys. Everything you now tweet COULD be true.

        0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. bonnie pressman‏ @blpress 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Unreal what a p—-y

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Raja Iyengar‏ @HighFlier76 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sadly this is probably true

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Daisyville‏ @Daisyville 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        So sorry, @TheOnion ...we are forced to RIP your stories from here on out as fake news. Your fake stories have been made less outrageous than actual American news.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Policy Wonka‏ @PolicyWonka 13 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        confused by Wayne's response that "Tweets don't influence people, people influence people" but decided to send anyway as he had a constitutional right to Tweet

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. G Prowler‏ @gprowler 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ryan hopes LaPierre makes up his mind before he brings back the office coffee order.pic.twitter.com/jGT2FBizfi

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Cora Bent‏ @BentCora 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He is a truly bad Catholic he is all about his self not poor people and sick of this nation

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Henry Smiley‏ @jdmaniac 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hard to be ironic in the age of Trump.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. the D Boy‏ @hippopotus45 12 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        lather rinse repeat,wrong time mental health repeat

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Patricia Bates‏ @Patfromthe5th 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When you have sold whatever soul you have to the NRA. then of course he will have to get the ok before he can open his mouth. Disgusting man!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Not Too Sure What To Call Myself‏ @Jai_Sins 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought these were supposed to be fake headlines?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Rick Trapped His Master  🎃 👻‏ @trapmasterrick 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The burn hurts so good.pic.twitter.com/D2imJI0vKY

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. An Unreasonable Woman‏ @licia_page 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hey, at least he's open to feedback!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. karen gilbert‏ @kgeecupid 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Big fan, but you excel at absurd. This rings too true

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ralph Cavallone‏ @AgeChallanged 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Just demonstrates who really runs Congress. Trump kisses Putin's ass and Congress kisses the NRA's collective ass

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Keith Allen‏ @keithwadeallen 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The line between news and satire is so blurred these days.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. David Beckwith‏ @DavidGBeckwith 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I would not be surprised if you have a source on that one.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Punches In Bunches‏ @eplacentia 11 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I feel like this one should’ve been workshopped a little more

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info