Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 8 Nov 2017

    Former Trump Advisor Carter Page Found Dumb In D.C. Hotel Room https://trib.al/6ayLIzk pic.twitter.com/GwMsNK4oQe

    11:10 AM - 8 Nov 2017
    • 601 Retweets
    • 2,492 Likes
    • Mitchell McMahon Bloque M DJ Catherine mr_devoe an impolite arrogant woman Nicholas Evans Jordan Lowrance trpeal
    40 replies 601 retweets 2,492 likes
      1. Peter Hodges‏ @peter_hodges2 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Peter Hodges Retweeted Tom Hemsley

        https://twitter.com/guavaking/status/928079379938373632 …

        Peter Hodges added,

        Tom Hemsley @Guavaking
        Am I the first one to notice Carter Page wears the same style of hat as Gilligan? pic.twitter.com/4rtyJUqbWz
        0 replies 1 retweet 20 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Sanho Tree‏ @SanhoTree 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Surely Carter Page is the new Messiah for hath he not turned a cracker into toast? #Sessions

        1 reply 2 retweets 17 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Eric Reese‏ @reeseer1 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Remember kids, if Carter Page has a Masters and a PhD, anyone can.

        0 replies 1 retweet 9 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mattpenguin‏ @RotoPenguin 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @emptywheel

        Stop being mean to the morally disabled!

        0 replies 1 retweet 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. AproposOfSomething‏ @AOSradio 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He testifies like no one's watching.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Charles Minnich‏ @green_wyrd 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @emptywheel

        Experts say it was a congenital, lifelong condition. #sad

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Intense Apathy‏ @in10se_apathy 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        it's not nice to pick on the disabled

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Chris Bednarz‏ @cwbednarz 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When did the Onion become a legitimate news source? This seems 100% accurate

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. really spooky‏ @Surely_Not 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @MattNegrin

        thoughts and prayers

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. your very own monica bellucci dream‏ @DJCPI 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        THIS IS FUNNY BECAUSE WE KNOW HE IS GOING TO BE KILLED

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Hap Emerson 🇺🇸‏ @HapEmerson 10 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @JohnJHarwood

        I bet it was stupidcide.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Densa‏ @AcuteEngels 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @christinawilkie

        Perhaps Page is the decoy, weaving up the road but stone cold sober, while his drunk buddies head off in the other direction.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Sylvester Poindexter‏ @HITECKREDNECK12 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @ThinBlueLR

        BREAKING NEWS: UMA ABEDINE AND HILLARY CLINTON VIDEOS OF SCISSORING WHILE WATCHING ANTHONY WEINER CHILD PORN RELEASED TODAY.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Jim Malgieri‏ @jimmalgieri 10 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @JohnJHarwood

        "I'm not lost . . .not lost at all - nope."

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Croc Enthusiest‏ @Timmy_McInnis 9 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ryan12197 @marshallthewise This is BIG!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. ex-suburbanite‏ @Capittalism 9 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        holy shit lmfao

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Marsha 🌊 🔥 💜‏ @cmpndqn 9 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        COFFEE OUT MY NOSE OUCH 💖

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tyler Takemoto‏ @Tyler_Takemoto 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I misread the headline and source and almost screamed involuntarily like a witch

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info