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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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@TheOnion

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 29 Oct 2017

    Heavenly Authorities Arrest God For Leaving Children In Overheating Planet https://trib.al/a5yknwA pic.twitter.com/vFYwO0vhds

    7:20 AM - 29 Oct 2017
    • 672 Retweets
    • 2,345 Likes
    • Colin Crabtree Kenny g Joey Pagan Dan McKee Just Dave migle Al tuzzi
    19 replies 672 retweets 2,345 likes
      1. Harry Pujols‏ @harrypujols 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        God only left for 5 minutes to get a pack of cigarettes at the gas station.

        0 replies 0 retweets 15 likes
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      1. Donald Nelson‏ @HanoyShan 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        But when he closes a door he opens a window, right?

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Carol_T‏ @caroltalm 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This is very funny, but c'mon. We all know God's real crime is not helping Bill O'Reilly.

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Arceuthobium‏ @TheOtherSimo 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @caroltalm @TheOnion

        Also giving George W. Bush faulty intelligence.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Roman‏ @naumenko_roman 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Good work, U.S. Department of Justice

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Aaron Zupet‏ @AaronZupet 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Quit the political b.s. Stick to the funny. Trump was elected because a majority of us voted for him.

        7 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Harry Pujols‏ @harrypujols 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @AaronZupet @TheOnion

        Satire?

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Chopper Flynn‏ @Jadmai 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheGoodGodAbove C'mon, man.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. T Williams‏ @TRO7000 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        😂😂😂😂 #Classic

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. JoeyBagAnuts‏ @JoeyBagAnuts 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @TheTweetOfGod need to post bail, bruh? I know a guy #justsayin

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Mark Williams‏ @mawilliams501 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yeah, but what about Hillary?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. flatearth world news‏ @FLATEARTHCENTER 6 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BLUE BALL SHIT?pic.twitter.com/MQlyiAzz7e

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. J. Matt Gramling‏ @Koojo_JMG 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "I was only gone for a cpl of millennia and I left that lazy hippie son of mine in charge. Where in Hell is Jesus? I am gna kill him!" - God

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Andrew D. Kaufman, Ph.D.‏ @andrewdkaufman 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sounds complicated 🤔😃

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. lewis campbell‏ @lewisjbh 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If you are a believer of cult science, global warming as function of man, than God says you have free will in his or her defense...innocent

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Keenakeet‏ @Keenakeet 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @lewisjbh @TheOnion

        This is a satire. You are taking this way too seriously.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. E Kopec‏ @elkopec17 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She is beautiful. Human noise ruins everything.🌎☀️🌻🌈🐉🐭🐯🐸🐺🐦🦒🦋🦀🐢🐋🐃🦅🕊️

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Vicki Felmlee on a trail somewhere‏ @lilhistorian 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @tonitonirocca

        See; The Whole Shebang. 1993.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. S.A. "C'mon, Do the Science Fiction" Barton‏ @Tao23 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @ACTINOSProject

        I really wish you'd sprung for a photoshop of God in an orange jumpsuit doing a perp walk in cuffs.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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