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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 28 Oct 2017

    Man Gets Life In Order For 36 Minutes https://trib.al/ow4lvy1 pic.twitter.com/dOAyVZOIOG

    11:15 AM - 28 Oct 2017
    • 607 Retweets
    • 2,259 Likes
    • SUPERflix Movies 🎥 🤓 Xaq Hauberre James Jayi Wang Team Free Gucci Mane Kitty Kurth chris Ardie Collins Sup Z
    33 replies 607 retweets 2,259 likes
      1. Neil Moskowitz‏ @newyawkmd 28 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh fuck. I thought he wrote 26 minutes and I was going to criticize him for such a short period of time. But 36 minutes is more than enough.

        0 replies 0 retweets 22 likes
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      1. Michael Ghost  👻‏ @mcyost 28 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @ me next time

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. Jane‏ @Poeia 28 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He's 35 minutes and 59 seconds ahead of me.

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Kerri King‏ @RealKerriKing 28 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @SimplyDenzel @CuriousCorduroy

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Tony‏ @SimplyDenzel 28 Oct 2017
        Replying to @RealKerriKing @TheOnion @CuriousCorduroy

        Wish I could do half of that!

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Kerri King‏ @RealKerriKing 28 Oct 2017
        Replying to @SimplyDenzel @TheOnion @CuriousCorduroy

        Lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. GhaleonEB‏ @GhaleonEB 28 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Both the headline and the story describe small bursts of my weekends, before natural (dis)order sets in.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. Nicholas Hel‏ @Nicholas_Hel 1 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @PokerPlaying @Bradley_Brincka

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Gemeni365‏ @Gemeni365 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        36 minutes once a week is the rule I live by

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Chad Rushing‏ @ProfessorCrush 28 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Is he giving seminars? I need to learn his technique...

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Nathan French‏ @nathanfrench 28 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        30 seconds is my personal best

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Exen with the Big Dork Energy‏ @exentrik137 28 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Beats my record

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Cameron Evitts‏ @Cam_Eazy 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @DeejDrake

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Derek‏ @DeejDrake 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @Cam_Eazy @TheOnion

        Lmao onion always on point

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Ed Drennen‏ @EdDrennen1 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Man should shavepic.twitter.com/rr0dsRXX5u

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Chuck_D‏ @LaidBackLife4Me 29 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        🤔 I usually manage 27min/bursts!They @ times need assistance.Going out on a limb and w/out distraction.This could be a Guinness Record? 🤓✌️

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Tony D‏ @biff725 28 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        36 minutes of a busy 72 hour day, not bad.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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