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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 23 Oct 2017

    New 'Do Not Kill' Registry To Allow Americans To Opt Out Of Being Murdered https://trib.al/HNCveTp pic.twitter.com/S6OTNf2kZ6

    7:31 AM - 23 Oct 2017
    • 1,918 Retweets
    • 5,966 Likes
    • alexdaperson Kim Jackson suicidal thot 🕷🎃 Gerald Hopney Rotahg jess Maureen Miller ghoul Give Symmetra healing turrets you COWARDS
    62 replies 1,918 retweets 5,966 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. ChrisHighwind‏ @ChrisHighwnd 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Eh, I tried using that registry, I still got someone trying to murder me even after I told them I was on the "Do Not Kill" list.

        1 reply 0 retweets 31 likes
      3. Adrienne‏ @adriennekfuller 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @ChrisHighwnd @TheOnion

        and right during dinner ugh

        0 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. F7200‏ @chaffXgrenade 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        all this technology at our disposal yet this form takes 30 days to process smh RIP me

        1 reply 0 retweets 23 likes
      3. Tyler Hansen Devil May Cry V!‏ @THMB69 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @chaffXgrenade @TheOnion

        The wait is killing me

        1 reply 0 retweets 24 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Prune Tracy‏ @IgnitionJReilly 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        These lists are compiled and they give the info to murders and tell them not to murder them but they just use the list as their murder sheet

        1 reply 0 retweets 17 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Kevin Lyons‏ @kflions 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        If the DoNotCall version is any indication of their effectiveness, NO THANKS! :D

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1.  ✨ ❄️Winter J 🌑elstice ❄️ ✨‏ @JoelCieslak 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        finally the government is taking action

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. ProtestPi 👻 🎃 ☠️‏ @jakesharp921 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @lapdogofficial

        Is there a list for people that want to be killed.

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Douglas Dawson‏ @ruabonobo 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Of course nra will get gop to block

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. BigMan_OnCampus‏ @BigMan_OnCampus 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There's no reason the government should have to do this, can't free market solutions fix this?

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. CatsyCline 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜‏ @Mrs_Veals 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There really is no humor in this when black people are disproportionately being killed in this country daily.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. thelma harper.‏ @_youngTenderoni 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @Mrs_Veals @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/84rrUhQH21

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. CatsyCline 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜 💜‏ @Mrs_Veals 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @_youngTenderoni @TheOnion

        My privilege is about to show, but I'm exhausted trying to educate folks, but it's something that I'll never stop doing!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Lliam Cole‏ @LliamC 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @Demize99

        Better solution: don’t go to the United States. Come to Canada instead, we are really nice and we don’t have any guns

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Fiona Caoilfhionn Quinn, Devil Worshipping Lesbian‏ @GayestTiefling 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @LliamC @TheOnion @Demize99

        Oh no. I see where this is going. You just want me closer so you can murder me there. I'm wise to your games

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Lliam Cole‏ @LliamC 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @GayestTiefling @TheOnion @Demize99

        I’m actually just a dolphin ma’am

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. End of conversation

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