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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 20 Oct 2017

    TSA Agents To Now Simply Stand At Checkpoints And Remind Passengers That We All Die Someday https://trib.al/X310H3r pic.twitter.com/HA3TaZywPj

    3:29 PM - 20 Oct 2017
    • 386 Retweets
    • 1,484 Likes
    • meidaniarya Thomas Billings spooky_isaach Ralph Armstrong Nicholas Roberts sal Pierre-Simon Laplace Endquire Updoc is the new black
    20 replies 386 retweets 1,484 likes
      1. David J Foster‏ @djf137 20 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That would be a vast improvement

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. Duckdong‏ @duckdonger 20 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        We knew what we signed up for

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. White Ghoul Liz  👻‏ @Urgle__Burgle 20 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        As a recovering TSA screener I can confirm this.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3.  👌CRUZader‏ @MIMWWTB 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @Urgle__Burgle @TheOnion

        Congrats on your return to life with a soul.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. BadgerJ “Vote Blue November 6” 🌊‏ @JohnBadger41 20 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Today is a good day to die!pic.twitter.com/av03fKOfHu

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1.  🌊 ❄️ Dexter Garcia‏ @Texas_Dexter 21 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And if you die today, on our plane, we will tell your family "you knew what you signed up for"

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. David Rivers‏ @daveriverz 20 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @hbryant42

        That would be more productive than they are now. Wonder what it’s like to be a walking joke.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Jonathon Wright‏ @engpharm 20 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        That would be faster...

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. New conversation
      2. Christopher Suprun‏Verified account @TheChrisSuprun 20 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Christopher Suprun Retweeted Christopher Suprun

        Is TSA relevant when you can buy guns INSIDE the airport?https://twitter.com/TheChrisSuprun/status/921426387067654144 …

        Christopher Suprun added,

        Christopher SuprunVerified account @TheChrisSuprun
        I'm all for #2A, nut what in the world is this about? Why would you even consider this @sfairport? https://twitter.com/samswey/status/921395742622781440 …
        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Preemster‏ @yikes90909 20 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Before or after groping?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Jakob (Flare) Lannoo‏ @FlareDarkStorm 20 Oct 2017
        Replying to @yikes90909 @TheOnion

        Both

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Preemster‏ @yikes90909 20 Oct 2017
        Replying to @FlareDarkStorm @TheOnion

        Has a certain symmetry : “We’re all gonna die soon ” gropes front gropes rear “We’ll all soon die”

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Jakob (Flare) Lannoo‏ @FlareDarkStorm 21 Oct 2017
        Replying to @yikes90909 @TheOnion

        Exactly

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. End of conversation
      1.  👌CRUZader‏ @MIMWWTB 23 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        They are worse than even your satire! @TSA is populated by perverts, the ill-educated, and the morbidly obese!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Mike Cheswick‏ @MikeCheswick 21 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Funny. BS.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. UrsusMaritimus‏ @ursus_marit 20 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        srsly. Who gives them the right to be such unrelenting assholes given that there's not even much evidence they actually make us safer?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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      1. Data Fromstartrek‏ @go_csftitans 20 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        All TSA agents are black

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
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