Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 12 Oct 2017

    Study Finds First Life Forms Migrated To Earth Via Interplanetary Land Bridge https://trib.al/XornDmM pic.twitter.com/VIzK5fiKVG

    12:55 PM - 12 Oct 2017
    • 252 Retweets
    • 1,291 Likes
    • The SDGs Company www.SDGs.co🌱 = www.Tradom.co🗺 Trey Green Birger E justin Cole Santora Pierre-Simon Laplace skeleton city Da1realBigA Kirby
    25 replies 252 retweets 1,291 likes
      1. John Hasley‏ @PonsSublicius 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Still think Douglas Adams had the most plausible explanation.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. GethousedRuthie‏ @GethousedRuthie 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #moon2017 Could have built this with all the $ spent planning to go back. Just use the original technology if u wanna go back.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Gene J. Mikulka‏ @genejm29 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @GethousedRuthie

        Again not that easy to rebuild old tech.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      4. Alicia Donato‏ @AliciaDonato 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @genejm29 @GethousedRuthie

        Plus, I'd imagine that we've come a long way in aerospace engineering since 1969. It wouldn't make sense to use old tech.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. GethousedRuthie‏ @GethousedRuthie 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @AliciaDonato @genejm29

        But I think what @genejm29 is saying is that if we could rebuild that tech, we could used it... because it worked before, #amirite?

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. Alicia Donato‏ @AliciaDonato 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @GethousedRuthie @genejm29

        What? That's not what they're saying at all. Have you ever had a friend try to save their old car? Often costs more than the car's worth.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. End of conversation
      1. G Prowler‏ @gprowler 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well, according to this recent report from France we probably don't have to worry about aliens visiting Earth anytime soon. http://baconplant.com/earth-said-put-interstellar-not-call-list/ …pic.twitter.com/cPqOdaVwTp

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Rob Z Tobor‏ @Rob_Z_Tobor 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        You fools that is a huge space insects leg. It was walking through the solar system and just happen to have a leg on Earth and one on Mars.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. D.J.‏ @Union_Sports_ 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I can see mars from my house

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kyle‏ @DrKyle 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It's possible life came from space, but it would be more of a land-taxi (scientists call them asteroids).

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Chad Sherwood‏ @csherwood_1973 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Funny, I always assumed they had taken the Chunnel.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Garrett Jason Greer‏ @garrettjgreer 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Oh my God! We should build a wall to prevent any future aliens!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Always‏ @AskLifeY 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        My great grandfather told me about this and how it took so long to cross. So many hardships, space was so deep, so long.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. The SDGs Company www.SDGs.co 🌱 = www.Tradom.co 🗺‏ @TradomGlobal 8 Nov 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @jeffwelchmod

        There is t/ "invisible world" that human mind cannot see anymore.Everything around us is not only physical/solid state.Can u see oxygen u breathe?No:U still alive thou,right?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Rex Banner‏ @Inspectjavert 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Land bridge my ass, my pappy worked 150 hours a day building that thing.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. ben‏ @benweiss13 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Would be better of the earth was flat

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jeff Kent‏ @speedinbullets 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Love that bridge. Met some nice Vulcans there...pic.twitter.com/djEnwQ5Tlt

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Scraps‏ @J_hnGrady 12 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        OK, wow. So, that's why the genealogy databases get to a certain point and then just . . . stop returning results.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info