Read the lede before I saw The Onion logo. Only in 2017 would I believe this was true. 
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Pooh gets stuck in the wall and dies from dehydration.
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Now that I think about they all had pretty serious mental problems.
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Tigger: delusions of grandeur Rabbit: anxiety Eeore: very depressed Pooh: neurotic
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I'm betting that Tigger gets feline Leukemia.
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It would indeed be tragic, but I think Eeyore would be much happier dead. Put him out of his misery. That's what I say anyway.
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Oh shit!
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Eeyore was always dead on the inside. Suicide?
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It's Roo. Post Pouch depression
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I was just about to say 'ooohhhh nooooes! When I saw the little green onion icon. Whew!
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What, Christopher Robin takes his schizophrenia meds?~
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Is nothing sacred to you?
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This is 2017 it was a random Drive-By Shooting
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