Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 5 Oct 2017

    Betsy DeVos Warns Of Rising Trend Of Dongs Being Drawn In Textbooks https://trib.al/Pl9Kgkk pic.twitter.com/31QkweMGh2

    8:37 AM - 5 Oct 2017
    • 500 Retweets
    • 1,910 Likes
    • The WKND Hair Salon Philadelphia Injury Lawyers Christine Adrian Shaiful Islam Emma Cook Pierre-Simon Laplace Red H🎃🎃d (but spookier) Patrick Gagen ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)
    32 replies 500 retweets 1,910 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Misgivings‏ @lacunalingua 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Are dongs on the rise?

        2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Ghostinthehost‏ @Ghostinthehost 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @lacunalingua @TheOnion

        Tsk.. *shakes head*

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Misgivings‏ @lacunalingua 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @Ghostinthehost @TheOnion

        Look: dongs are rising. I don’t make the rules. Or the headlines.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      5. Ghostinthehost‏ @Ghostinthehost 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @lacunalingua @TheOnion

        (Gets all flustered.)pic.twitter.com/wpGp8sV4uk

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      6. Misgivings‏ @lacunalingua 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @Ghostinthehost @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/D2BfwU3Lvt

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      7. Ghostinthehost‏ @Ghostinthehost 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @lacunalingua @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/KLvARC7KqK

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      8. End of conversation
      1. Richard J Torres‏ @rjkeats_98 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Huh huh huh.....you wrote DONGpic.twitter.com/v8ydYBgI6D

        0 replies 1 retweet 12 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. 𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖊𝖓 𝖔𝖋 𝖊𝖉𝖚𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓‏ @BestyDeVos 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        No, I warned just of ‘rising dongs.’ -b

        2 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. DAustin‏ @Daustwin 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @BestyDeVos @TheOnion

        Think yuo for kepeeing are kids safety fisrt kids yoday am i rite

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Sean‏ @Diamond44444444 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/S5BDZk48Uu

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Mike Raney‏ @raneysopinion 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Stay in this lane Onion, this is your sweet spot!

        2 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Ole Tippecanoe‏ @TippeTyYay 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @raneysopinion @TheOnion

        Nope, no sacred cows. You gun nuts are ripe for the picking.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Julie‏ @alpinegoodtime 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Won't somebody please think of the children? 😂

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Josh Fidel‏ @jcefidel 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @alpinegoodtime @TheOnion

        Who do you think is drawing them?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Kelsey Hayden‏ @hikelse 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Probably copy cat incidents after american vandal sensationalized dick drawings

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Skechy Max Normal‏ @bustmykeyboard 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "@TheOnion: Betsy DeVos Warns Of Rising Trend Of Dongs Being Drawn In Textbooks https://trib.al/Pl9Kgkk  pic.twitter.com/fJ13GJfIeg"

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kenny Crocker‏ @kenman104 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @Erikp343 @Tim_Fox1 @JayBionde

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Chris Space PVT Zeitz‏ @PrivateSnuffy 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/hxq7Koy451

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Joey the Ghoulie‏ @ComicBookJoey 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Speak of the devilpic.twitter.com/UuCDz0FAjo

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Brian Davis‏ @davisb69 5 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hahahaha

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info