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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 2 Oct 2017

      Americans Hopeful This Will Be Last Mass Shooting Before They Stop On Their Own For No Reason https://trib.al/VEoSnqj pic.twitter.com/HrE5X8GiNo

      131 replies 17,502 retweets 34,390 likes
      Show this thread
      The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 2 Oct 2017

      Americans across the country confirmed Monday they were hopeful this would be the last mass shooting before all such occurrences stopped on their own for no reason at all. https://trib.al/7Vd9rFP pic.twitter.com/oNLdkwIXac

      2:34 PM - 2 Oct 2017
      • 2,074 Retweets
      • 4,361 Likes
      • Cream of Lutefisk Elliott Gustafzon rene kane DalePhillips SimulatedDave EthicalMind Tuna kathy taborn🌸 Alfredo La Mont
      36 replies 2,074 retweets 4,361 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. The Velvet Dress‏ @daniellegold_ 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion @daniellesinay

          Wheres the lie tho? I thought the onion was supposed to be satire?!

          2 replies 2 retweets 110 likes
        3. Frank Tarrant‏ @franktarrant 3 Oct 2017
          Replying to @daniellegold_ @TheOnion @daniellesinay

          It is satire/irony; it's just bit subtle.

          3 replies 1 retweet 14 likes
        4. Danielle Sinay‏Verified account @daniellesinay 3 Oct 2017
          Replying to @franktarrant @thevelvetdress_ @TheOnion

          i think she knows that

          3 replies 0 retweets 19 likes
        5. M‏ @Mikey_Bling 3 Oct 2017
          Replying to @daniellesinay @franktarrant @TheOnion

          Ha, the subtlety of subtlety........

          0 replies 0 retweets 10 likes
        6. End of conversation
        1. New conversation
        2. Tord‏ @Cackalackyman 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion @EspenEckbo

          "No action"? Isn't everybody sending tons of thoughts and prayers?

          2 replies 1 retweet 40 likes
        3. 1 more reply
        1. John Kennedy‏ @Jedika 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          They're clinging to the hope that people will just become bored with guns and mass shootings will stop at 1,516 mass shootings in 1,735 days

          0 replies 2 retweets 11 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. Maria‏ @ma_riiaaa 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          you’re getting too real guys

          0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. New conversation
        2. Bill Sparks‏ @news_sparks 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          CNN is reporting that NFL players will take a knee because cops killed the shooter.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        3. Not A Russian Spy‏ @CDNPowerRanger 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @news_sparks @TheOnion

          wowzers, you sure are edgy, and everyone knows that edgy humour is the funniest!!1!

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        4. Bill Sparks‏ @news_sparks 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @CDNPowerRanger @TheOnion

          Too soon?

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        5. Not A Russian Spy‏ @CDNPowerRanger 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @news_sparks @TheOnion

          Are you still bitter about a bunch of folks taking a knee?

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        6. Bill Sparks‏ @news_sparks 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @CDNPowerRanger @TheOnion

          Oh I don’t care about that.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        7. Not A Russian Spy‏ @CDNPowerRanger 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @news_sparks @TheOnion

          Is that so? Then surely you don't have to tweet about it all day to every single news outlet...pic.twitter.com/wL3oGLTJvh

          1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
        8. Bill Sparks‏ @news_sparks 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @CDNPowerRanger @TheOnion

          Because I can

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        9. Not A Russian Spy‏ @CDNPowerRanger 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @news_sparks @TheOnion

          Because you can what? Definitely not read, because I never posed a question that would warrant this response.

          0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        10. End of conversation
        1. New conversation
        2. Pudd‏ @littlepuddy 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          You guys don't seemed to be bothered by your dem run city of Chicago killing sometimes hundreds in a weekend. Where is that outrage?

          1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. JCM‏ @JCM_34 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @littlepuddy @TheOnion

          Wise up Pudd. Wise up.

          0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        4. End of conversation
        1. Just bleugene‏ @bleugene 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Thank you for saying the right things today.

          0 replies 1 retweet 2 likes
          Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
          Undo
        1. New conversation
        2. Aggressively White Russian Bot‏ @ButMuhRussia 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @TheOnion

          Whoever is running The Onion's twitter account today should be fired.

          2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        3. JCM‏ @JCM_34 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @ButMuhRussia @TheOnion

          Why? On what grounds? America needs to wake up about their gun culture.

          1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
        4. Aggressively White Russian Bot‏ @ButMuhRussia 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @JCM_34 @TheOnion

          I'm sure using explosives would have made you feel better. You are a child.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        5. JCM‏ @JCM_34 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @ButMuhRussia @TheOnion

          What an idiotic statement. Beyond stupid.

          1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
        6. Aggressively White Russian Bot‏ @ButMuhRussia 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @JCM_34 @TheOnion

          On second thought, you're right. You'd be upset because you'd get much less political mileage out of a bombing.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        7. JCM‏ @JCM_34 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @ButMuhRussia @TheOnion

          Are you drunk? This is not political. It's about crazy American gun laws and obscene levels of gun related deaths in the US. Obscene.

          1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
        8. Aggressively White Russian Bot‏ @ButMuhRussia 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @JCM_34 @TheOnion

          262 million unarmed people were killed by governments in the 20th century. We're keeping our guns. Period. Deal with it.

          2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        9. JCM‏ @JCM_34 2 Oct 2017
          Replying to @ButMuhRussia @TheOnion

          That's a made up statistic if ever I heard one.

          1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
        10. 4 more replies

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