Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 2 Oct 2017

    "The reason we have tragedies like this is because of how our healthcare system that I am dead set on undermining fails to serve Americans in desperate need of psychological treatment." https://trib.al/BK6v3v8 pic.twitter.com/eFgBzvQfce

    1:34 PM - 2 Oct 2017
    • 8,086 Retweets
    • 15,866 Likes
    • Ronnie Whaley 🇵🇭 Stephanie SCCP⚫⚪🦅 B Christopher Macynnagranby Yut Gow Fan ᴛʀᴏʟʟᴀʀᴀ Hillary Renatielle Rochambeau, dig me? Vanessa Priska Sutanto
    265 replies 8,086 retweets 15,866 likes
      1. The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 2 Oct 2017

        .@SpeakerRyan: "Mass shootings like this are about access to mental health care that we will continue to gut." https://trib.al/ktuceKE pic.twitter.com/zKULkBPujT

        55 replies 1,278 retweets 3,042 likes
        Show this thread
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Blake Trask‏ @BlakeTrask 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Blake Trask Retweeted The Onion

        Not a big fan when the best news analysis about current events is from @TheOnion.https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/914951866412408835 …

        Blake Trask added,

        The OnionVerified account @TheOnion
        "The reason we have tragedies like this is because of how our healthcare system that I am dead set on undermining fails to serve Americans in desperate need of psychological treatment." https://trib.al/BK6v3v8  pic.twitter.com/eFgBzvQfce
        Show this thread
        3 replies 7 retweets 104 likes
      3. Glen Buhlmann 🇨🇦‏ @GlenBikes 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @BlakeTrask @TheOnion

        I just recycle this one (as does @TheOnion)http://www.theonion.com/article/no-way-to-prevent-this-says-only-nation-where-this-36131 …

        0 replies 8 retweets 70 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. david matafka‏ @DMatafka 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        This really isnt funny today! Too soon guys

        15 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      3.  🎃 Pumpkin Spice  🎃‏ @Psycho_Wendigo 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @DMatafka @TheOnion

        No such thing as "Too Soon" for satire

        1 reply 1 retweet 73 likes
      4. H-land‏ @aychland 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @Psycho_Wendigo @DMatafka @TheOnion

        Certainly not when the intent's not to make you laugh.

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. A. Woke Nana‏ @NanaWoke 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Daily, 91 people die from self-inflicted opioid abuse yet nearly twice that die from bullets!? But America's crisis is opioids not guns!? 🤔

        7 replies 1 retweet 27 likes
      3. Clare M‏ @Magialuna 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @NanaWoke @TheOnion

        Well, both are huge problems which won't be solved for the same reason-massive financial donations to lawmakers by a powerful lobby group.

        1 reply 0 retweets 20 likes
      4. A. Woke Nana‏ @NanaWoke 3 Oct 2017
        Replying to @Magialuna @TheOnion

        The NRA should be forced to pay every medical bill from here to perpetuity of anybody that was injured in this and other gunned massacres!

        2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
      5. Dennis‏ @denreill 3 Oct 2017
        Replying to @NanaWoke @Magialuna @TheOnion

        Or maybe forced to buy every American an assault rifle so we can kill each other more efficiently

        1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
      6. A. Woke Nana‏ @NanaWoke 3 Oct 2017
        Replying to @denreill @Magialuna @TheOnion

        😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Rebecca Jean William‏ @RebeccaJeanWil2 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @pinewoodsdojo

        Ryan is a shill

        1 reply 1 retweet 3 likes
      3. Lou Pine‏ @pinewoodsdojo 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @RebeccaJeanWil2 @TheOnion

        a shrill shill by the sea shore a shrill shill by the sea shore a shrill etc

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. Rebecca Jean William‏ @RebeccaJeanWil2 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @pinewoodsdojo @TheOnion

        You got me on that one. The ess sound is difficult, I have a lisp. How bout a dill by the door?

        1 reply 2 retweets 3 likes
      5. Lou Pine‏ @pinewoodsdojo 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @RebeccaJeanWil2 @TheOnion

        Rubber babby buggy bumper then

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      6. Rebecca Jean William‏ @RebeccaJeanWil2 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @pinewoodsdojo @TheOnion

        👍 cool 👍 👏👏 that one's not a problem.😋💚🐻

        1 reply 1 retweet 1 like
      7. Lou Pine‏ @pinewoodsdojo 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @RebeccaJeanWil2 @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/piG4utxrQ7

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      8. Rebecca Jean William‏ @RebeccaJeanWil2 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @pinewoodsdojo @TheOnion

        How'd you get this. They promised never to make it public, if I quit driving.

        1 reply 1 retweet 2 likes
      9. Lou Pine‏ @pinewoodsdojo 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @RebeccaJeanWil2 @TheOnion

        the deep state is everywhere

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      10. 1 more reply
      1. Christian Zombie Vampires‏ @CWWilkie 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @marnieshure

        God Bless the Onion.

        0 replies 0 retweets 31 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info