Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 30 Sep 2017

    Sony Releases New Earbud Detangling Spray https://trib.al/nO5HA91 pic.twitter.com/FAYanLdJ03

    6:51 PM - 30 Sep 2017
    • 702 Retweets
    • 2,898 Likes
    • Peregrin FailingSchoolSystem Improper Mompreneur Anne Sisler Faisal Athar Kieran McKnight Diane Wade Vladan Mutabdzija DJ MCMD
    46 replies 702 retweets 2,898 likes
      1. Kari Lopez‏ @Lukarilink 30 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Don't play with my feelings

        0 replies 0 retweets 16 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Steph Dawson‏ @Steph_E_Dawson 30 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I would buy this.

        0 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Grant Hernandez‏ @Digital_Cold 30 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Take my money dammit!

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Seth Clydesdale‏ @SethC1995 30 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        ABOUT DAMN TIME

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dennis & Clark‏ @theLAMPshade_ 30 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Thank god.

        0 replies 1 retweet 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2.  🎃Scari Ahhhnold 🎃‏ @wysiwygit 30 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        #ThingsIWishReallyExisted

        1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Shannon P. Laws‏ @SPLaws 30 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hahaaha! I wonder if it works on power cables and all that ball of a mess under the desk?

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. 400 Knuckles‏ @100Fists 1 Oct 2017
        Replying to @SPLaws @TheOnion

        That's what zip ties are for.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Shannon P. Laws‏ @SPLaws 1 Oct 2017
        Replying to @100Fists @TheOnion

        Don't get technical 400. I might pay you to organize my closets

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      5. End of conversation
      1. Eric Taylor‏ @ericgtaylor 30 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Did the #topologists finally do something useful!?

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dean Lamb‏ @DeanWLamb 30 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        But it's not compatible with Apple.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lloyd Jacobson  👨🏻‍💻‏ @HOUmanReporter 30 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I just take a hot comb to mine.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Stop Ajit Pai‏ @stop_pai 30 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Apple already did. They’re called AirPods.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Matt Zieminski‏ @therepairdude 30 Sep 2017
        Replying to @stop_pai @TheOnion

        Now with more aluminiumpic.twitter.com/C28Bc14kWn

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Hilty‏ @JW_Hilt 2 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bout time

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Barbara handzel‏ @scrapezious 1 Oct 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @ScottKimberly1

        LOL

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info