Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 23 Sep 2017

    Hope Hicks Praying She Not Still In Same Shitty Job By Time She Hits 30 https://trib.al/Y6HnWGi pic.twitter.com/HowhVY0OrN

    9:41 AM - 23 Sep 2017
    • 79 Retweets
    • 442 Likes
    • Shane Sean “@jack is a twat” Gabay Tery mattera Pierre-Simon Laplace Berry platoplaydough @brandeisstudent GG!! hard to make jokes
    25 replies 79 retweets 442 likes
      1. just elizabeth‏ @justbethplz 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        These Onion articles are tough because I don't know what's real or too absurd to be true anymore

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Henotic Highlander‏ @HughLander1 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Look at Kellyanne. That's what happens when you're around so much evil. Sort of like what happened to Smeagol.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Tony Meade‏ @tonymeade 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Why does she look like she's been possessed by the houseless spirit of Sauron?

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Lazycrockett‏ @Lazycrockett 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        what? blowing Trump?

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sally Franz‏ @Sallyfranz 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She has that Monica Lewinsky look on her face.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. a.girl‏ @hockeygirl634 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        When your face has fallen and It can't get up

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mary Hilton‏ @FMHilton 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        America is praying her boss isn't in the same job in 6 months...

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Don't wash your pits in the river of Sacred Tears‏ @MaestraOogway 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Pisses me off that these are what pass for women at the highest level of government. Incompetent, vindictive liars. Excluding Hope. DK yet.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Colleen Scanlon‏ @ColleenScanlon 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        3 really unpleasant women.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ed Drennen‏ @EdDrennen1 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Maybe she'll get a raise?pic.twitter.com/izzuUKi0AO

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ken‏ @KublaKen 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She yearns for Alternative work in an undocumented field.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Joe S. Revenge‏ @pabloespablo 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She'll be the Onion's chief editor

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Ruthsaidwhat?‏ @rschiff40 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        How about jail?pic.twitter.com/zEQiTraNxi

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bill Albert‏ @November_11_9 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Yeah. Can understand that since Kelly Ann Conway is really only 30.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Bernardy Nico‏ @bernardynico2 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/cfM4L9yIN7

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Chris Goldy‏ @CHRISGOLDY 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        H😀😀ters hiring?

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. GRU Mad Bro?‏ @kmgplace2b 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Hope alrdy moonlights: *jobbing Corey L. 100.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1.  🌵MrsR 🌵Dressell 🌵‏ @PLDCorkidecat 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She doesn't like being the @POTUS mistress? She gets a free condo for her duties

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Elisabeth Connelley‏ @Elisasspot 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @NativeTexan74

        what is with the old hag fake living dead eye rings on these women? it makes them even MORE ridiculous than they are

        2 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. VOTE 🌊 ☮️Cavazos MCMLXXIV ♑️ ✊🏻‏ @NativeTexan74 23 Sep 2017
        Replying to @Elisasspot @TheOnion

        #TheHandmaidsTale //they are giving away their rights to men because they don't trust themselves? It's just a theory.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. End of conversation

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info