Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 21 Sep 2017

    Man Who Just Purchased 3,000 Rounds Of Ammunition Online Perfectly Sane, Thinks Man Processing Order https://trib.al/rDR2Dwn pic.twitter.com/tOSeANAjWm

    5:56 AM - 21 Sep 2017
    • 241 Retweets
    • 1,174 Likes
    • tzara Mr. Completely Emily McManus El Pana Arpita sardar Allen Pierre-Simon Laplace Neb Antonio Bisogni
    27 replies 241 retweets 1,174 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. R. Daniel Paddock‏ @UndeadDan 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @LostinAppalacha @TheOnion

        I can see how that would be annoying. Your story is an excellent example of why suppressors should be widely available.

        2 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. Scotty A‏ @owningtheglobe 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @UndeadDan @LostinAppalacha @TheOnion

        It's actually your municipality, not the NRA, that determines when/where/how your neighbor can lawfully discharge a firearm.

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. Miki Jeffers‏ @evlovrlorde 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Well considering how much a single round of 9mm is, bulk purchase is the norm.

        0 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. R. Daniel Paddock‏ @UndeadDan 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Local Onion Writer Has Never Had Day At Range, Scared By Large Numbers

        0 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Nautilus‏ @rabidnautilus 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @LostinAppalacha @TheOnion

        Lmao how can you have "military grade" rifles when you aren't in the military?

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Lord Fluffy‏ @FluffyDerBoss 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @rabidnautilus @LostinAppalacha @TheOnion

        Easy: Buy mil-spec parts. Of course, that just means "equals the safety and quality standards of the US Military" not "extra murder-ready".

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Cicely Tyson's hat‏ @MissRJay 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Everyone commenting some version of "3000 isn't that much" seem to be unaware that they are making The Onion's point. I'm humored by this.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. The Original SPQR in 3D‏ @SPQRzilla 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @MissRJay @TheOnion

        No, they are pointing out that the "joke" fails because its indicative of The Onion's ignorance. Like yours.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Jeremy Chesser‏ @JeremyChesser3 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @StumanR @TheOnion

        If you live in a free country you can

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Calvin Dodge‏ @caldodge 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Sounds funny to someone who's ignorant of how much ammo is used in shooting practice.

        1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. R. Daniel Paddock‏ @UndeadDan 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @MapaviMagic @caldodge @TheOnion

        Edgy, bro. Bet you got a lot of high fives from everyone at the coffee shop over that sick burn.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      5. Hugh Jastweeter‏ @MapaviMagic 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @UndeadDan @caldodge @TheOnion

        Just go shoot something. Gotta be prepared for the mall or a local school

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. R. Daniel Paddock‏ @UndeadDan 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @MapaviMagic @caldodge @TheOnion

        Nah, bro. I'm good. But thanks for the suggestion. A little weird that you consider those to be proper locations to discharge a firearm tho.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      7. End of conversation
      1. Stephen Heidenreich‏ @Stephen_H_H 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Not sure how this is satirical. 3000 is probably low for everyone living in red states.pic.twitter.com/hPQTKtjFlV

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Soop Munkey‏ @soopmunkey 21 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "It'd be crazy NOT to stock up on hollow-points at these prices!"

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info