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The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 18 Sep 2017

    Study Reveals Majority Of Suicides Occur While Trying To Put Fitted Sheet On Bed http://trib.al/ks6sdEl pic.twitter.com/WZuBc3m3Wy

    4:28 PM - 18 Sep 2017
    • 2,676 Retweets
    • 9,313 Likes
    • SpoopyJ Mike Maus cyd cyd Robert Wilkinson azii_ldr Ana 🐍 Dave Vaughn A Dental Werk
    150 replies 2,676 retweets 9,313 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Chase‏ @Chase_Iowa 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I am more likely to do myself in trying to FOLD that fucking fitted sheet!

        4 replies 0 retweets 56 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New Message (Unread)‏ @NewMsgUnread 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        murders too.

        0 replies 2 retweets 11 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Popper‏ @PoppertheCat 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        In some ways I hate the flat sheet more. Do I tuck and struggle to get in? Do I untuck and risk it dipping below the comforter?

        1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
      3. Popper‏ @PoppertheCat 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @PoppertheCat @TheOnion

        Thinking about just sleeping on a cardboard box on the floor now.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Faceless Bureaucrat‏ @Sine_faciem 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The remainder occur while trying to fold fitted sheets.

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. Tweet unavailable
      4. Faceless Bureaucrat‏ @Sine_faciem 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @cubicle_Hero_ @TheOnion

        And don't get me started on getting a duvet into a duvet cover #lifeonhardmode

        1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
      5. 1 more reply
      1. TK‏ @TaylorChristian 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @joyiarayan a problem I solved when I suggested purchasing king size sheets for our queen bed #brainiac

        0 replies 0 retweets 17 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Dohnny Jepp  🇬🇷‏ @xXT0UCHXx 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        *fold*

        1 reply 0 retweets 13 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Ana Elizondo‏ @anaelizondo70 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Prefecty plausible. You need to do better Onion! We're looking for parody not reality.

        0 replies 1 retweet 5 likes
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      1. Debra‏ @rhymeswithdebra 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Incredibly callous and not funny

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. Not Dexter‏ @boxdog1031 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Too far, Onion. Just too far.

        0 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Glenn Holmes‏ @Koalaburger 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Major reason for marriage is because it is a 2 person job.

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. katherine mellow‏ @katydid_alot 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @Koalaburger @TheOnion

        That is seriously the only reason I miss my husband & apparently: Looking For "sheet folding partner" isn't really popular on Tindr

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Brian Koppelman‏Verified account @briankoppelman 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @yogoldsmith

        @SammyKoppelman

        1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      3. Sam Koppelman‏ @SammyKoppelman 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @briankoppelman @TheOnion @yogoldsmith

        The best routine on the fitted sheet is @GaryGulman's!

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. dan‏ @stretchcity 18 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Nothin funny about using sarcasm/humor in conjunction with suicide....boo Onion

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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