Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 31 Aug 2017

    Google Offering Depression Test http://trib.al/oiKkYCU  #WhatDoYouThink?pic.twitter.com/fJ0wQE7oSf

    8:47 AM - 31 Aug 2017
    • 51 Retweets
    • 285 Likes
    • Charles Smith Michelle Y. Gordon David Prince Pierre-Simon Laplace Allie “you fckers better vote” Hakala rocío a. úngaro Clayton Curseshaw Kyle Seiwert Kristen Squire
    8 replies 51 retweets 285 likes
      1. Official Trapt‏ @AbsoluteEunuch 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        The quiz basically amounts to, "Are you depressed? Check Yes or No."

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Myrish Swamp‏ @roseate6 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Are you lying in bed on a Thursday afternoon taking a online quiz? You might have depression.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Michael‏ @SavageMichaelja 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I was depressed after seeing Trump as my president

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. ColdWatch‏ @Mirquette 2 Sep 2017
        Replying to @SavageMichaelja @TheOnion

        Seems legit. But, how do I treat depression for not knowing how to fill my iron? The Onion has me feeling inept and goole isn't helping.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      4. Michael‏ @SavageMichaelja 2 Sep 2017
        Replying to @Mirquette @TheOnion

        JSUT DO ITpic.twitter.com/2ZCCocanbk

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      5. ColdWatch‏ @Mirquette 2 Sep 2017
        Replying to @SavageMichaelja @TheOnion

        Ok - Thank you Michael, for your Nike words of wisdom and pretty photo. Issue of relivance. Now, where do I put the oil in?pic.twitter.com/nXSC5v1bBe

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      6. Michael‏ @SavageMichaelja 2 Sep 2017
        Replying to @Mirquette @TheOnion

        Hehe, I sing not solve human problems

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      7. ColdWatch‏ @Mirquette 2 Sep 2017
        Replying to @SavageMichaelja @TheOnion

        Naw. But, I understand. We are the World and all that.... Guess I will figure it out. Cheers

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      8. Michael‏ @SavageMichaelja 3 Sep 2017
        Replying to @Mirquette @TheOnion

        Why don't you be like me

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      9. ColdWatch‏ @Mirquette 3 Sep 2017
        Replying to @SavageMichaelja @TheOnion

        It is not you Michael. It is me. And my middle aged man boobs. I was mistaken for a woman the other day. Kind of liked it.

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      10. 1 more reply
      1. ColdWatch‏ @Mirquette 2 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Google. I just want to know where to put the oil in the iron. Please.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. MJPeters‏ @Flabbergaster00 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Earplug molder! 😁😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. BigMan_OnCampus‏ @BigMan_OnCampus 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wait, you mean all those targeted ads at me to seek professional help were a beta-version of their algorithm?? WHAT???

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info