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TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
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@TheOnion

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The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

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Joined March 2008

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    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 31 Aug 2017

    Nobody Knows What Third Light Switch Does http://trib.al/p24heNB pic.twitter.com/SWSnNDGaJY

    5:09 AM - 31 Aug 2017
    • 503 Retweets
    • 2,363 Likes
    • phil sert Bill L. Matthew Spangler QTrace Jarod Cadena Megan Hakes AlexBeckerink Valerie Grace Mobius
    57 replies 503 retweets 2,363 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Mark Stroster‏ @SonofBuck 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I have that beat. 3rd from right does nothing and 3 empty spots?pic.twitter.com/7gwsteDbEE

        2 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
      3. Tina Hayes, Fellow ReSISter  🌊 🌊 🌊‏ @tinamichelehaze 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @SonofBuck @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/0DKa8ksTXt

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Robert Ramsay‏ @MothTwiceborn 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        "I'd flick it up & down occasionally, until I got a letter from a woman in Germany. It said 'Quit it.'" - Stephen Wright.

        1 reply 1 retweet 8 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Duarena House‏ @duarenarenee 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @CoyoteBillKC

        It's a switch to the top electrical outlet plug ins for that room... the ones that don't work! Took me 9 yrs to figure that one out.

        1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      3. kay kingsbury‏ @kay_kingsbury 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @duarenarenee @TheOnion @CoyoteBillKC

        Yes, thank you.👍 In my old house it worked the outlet in the center of the floor

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Prof 👻Poltergeist 👻‏ @blinkingabyss 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/UGghqNzEMI

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. Alec D. Shope‏ @NotVeryBadRight 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It turns the lights on in heaven so gramma can see you.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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      1. New conversation
      2. Perfect Stranger‏ @prfectstrangr 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Every time you toggle that switch, your dryer transports some socks to a parallel universe

        1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Jack Hawke‏ @jack_hawke 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/x8tM6rnLOE

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. Gabrielle Lamontagne‏ @bookwormwillow 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There's a well known joke that says it turns on the lights in an old lady's house in Germany. In FRIENDS it changes the TV channels. :P

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
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      1. David Aldridge‏ @DatabaseSponge 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I had one of these in Dayton. Four years in that house, never worked out what it did, but it was doing something for sure.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. drshodenfreude‏ @drshodenfreude 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        It works the outlet on the other side of the room......duh.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. New conversation
      2. Jonathan Small  👻‏ @JonathanBSmall 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        “Every so often I would flick it on and off..(.). Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, 'Cut it out.'” Steven Wright

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. 1 more reply
      1. Michael Mckenzie‏ @mojomck 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/31gxxcI3w2

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Shockproof Monkey‏ @popagoatB 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        There's this dude in Germany that gets really annoyed every time you flip it.

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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      1. Slex‏ @Lex__Go 31 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @MorganNMiller

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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