Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 28 Aug 2017

    11-Year-Old Moron Can’t Wait To Get Her First Period http://trib.al/8NJMKIk pic.twitter.com/1V0Zvb7N6w

    11:29 AM - 28 Aug 2017
    • 420 Retweets
    • 2,191 Likes
    • Lindsay Kelly tinsae Andrés Martínez . Throaway_Account_101 Gildedtongue Roboon Spook Ana✨ KyloSB
    36 replies 420 retweets 2,191 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Christy Poore‏ @cgpoore21 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Wow! I wouldn't call her a moron. She's young and doesn't really understand what it's all about. She will, in time.

        3 replies 1 retweet 5 likes
      3. Emotional Patrick‏ @bhowell120 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @cgpoore21 @TheOnion

        pic.twitter.com/FY2sUrNAh0

        2 replies 0 retweets 51 likes
      4. Christy Poore‏ @cgpoore21 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @bhowell120 @TheOnion

        Yes, yes......lol

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Jennifer C. Martin‏Verified account @notreallyjcm 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @Gert001badger

        fuck this was me

        1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
      3. Debbernaut‏ @Debbernaut 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @notreallyjcm @TheOnion @Gert001badger

        Judy Blume's fault.

        1 reply 0 retweets 12 likes
      4. The Daily Show Couch‏ @TDSCouch 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @Debbernaut @notreallyjcm and

        No, Margaret, God is not there...

        0 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
      5. End of conversation
      1. Michael Kaiser‏ @mnormankaiser 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        hard to be offensive and lame at the same time but you guys have managed to pull it off with this ill-considered attempt at humor.

        3 replies 0 retweets 3 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Peter Rabitt‏ @P_Rabitt 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Meanwhile, 11 year old genius can't wait to get that larger penis he's always wanted.

        0 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Mark O'Wokeness‏ @Solvang84 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Never Be A Stock Photo Model (And Especially Never Let Your Kid Be One), Part 9,762 in an ongoing series.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Raymundo‏ @RobCoughsALot 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        She look like Beans from even stevens

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Popper‏ @PoppertheCat 4 Sep 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I was so excited about it at her age to get my period. I REGRET IT. I REGRET EVERYTHING. SWEET MENOPAUSE RELEASE ME. OH GOD.

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. Archduchess Nina Bastiat‏ @estadocida 5 Sep 2017
        Replying to @PoppertheCat @TheOnion

        I didnt even know what that was i literally thought i was dying

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. Christy Poore‏ @cgpoore21 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        And be honest, we've all wanted to be older as kids. Don't even lie!!!!

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. End of conversation
      1. New conversation
      2. David Hawley‏ @DavidHawley2 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Much better than cancerous cats.

        1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
      3. Grande Dame‏ @grandedameuk 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @DavidHawley2 @TheOnion

        Only just!!!

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. BOOeyville‏ @loueyville 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Ok. That's funny. “@TheOnion: 11-Year-Old Moron Can’t Wait To Get Her First Period http://trib.al/8NJMKIk  pic.twitter.com/4jL0NEVNEi”

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Jonny Radtke‏Verified account @JonnyRadtke 28 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @whatthesean 😂😂

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info