Skip to content
  • Home Home Home, current page.
  • Moments Moments Moments, current page.

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Language: English
    • Bahasa Indonesia
    • Bahasa Melayu
    • Català
    • Čeština
    • Dansk
    • Deutsch
    • English UK
    • Español
    • Filipino
    • Français
    • Hrvatski
    • Italiano
    • Magyar
    • Nederlands
    • Norsk
    • Polski
    • Português
    • Română
    • Slovenčina
    • Suomi
    • Svenska
    • Tiếng Việt
    • Türkçe
    • Ελληνικά
    • Български език
    • Русский
    • Српски
    • Українська мова
    • עִבְרִית
    • العربية
    • فارسی
    • मराठी
    • हिन्दी
    • বাংলা
    • ગુજરાતી
    • தமிழ்
    • ಕನ್ನಡ
    • ภาษาไทย
    • 한국어
    • 日本語
    • 简体中文
    • 繁體中文
  • Have an account? Log in
    Have an account?
    · Forgot password?

    New to Twitter?
    Sign up
TheOnion's profile
The Onion
The Onion
The Onion
Verified account
@TheOnion

Tweets

The OnionVerified account

@TheOnion

America's Finest News Source.

theonion.com
Joined March 2008

Tweets

  • © 2018 Twitter
  • About
  • Help Center
  • Terms
  • Privacy policy
  • Cookies
  • Ads info
Dismiss
Previous
Next

Go to a person's profile

Saved searches

  • Remove
  • In this conversation
    Verified accountProtected Tweets @
Suggested users
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @
  • Verified accountProtected Tweets @

Promote this Tweet

Block

  • Tweet with a location

    You can add location information to your Tweets, such as your city or precise location, from the web and via third-party applications. You always have the option to delete your Tweet location history. Learn more

    Your lists

    Create a new list


    Under 100 characters, optional

    Privacy

    Copy link to Tweet

    Embed this Tweet

    Embed this Video

    Add this Tweet to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Add this video to your website by copying the code below. Learn more

    Hmm, there was a problem reaching the server.

    By embedding Twitter content in your website or app, you are agreeing to the Twitter Developer Agreement and Developer Policy.

    Preview

    Why you're seeing this ad

    Log in to Twitter

    · Forgot password?
    Don't have an account? Sign up »

    Sign up for Twitter

    Not on Twitter? Sign up, tune into the things you care about, and get updates as they happen.

    Sign up
    Have an account? Log in »

    Two-way (sending and receiving) short codes:

    Country Code For customers of
    United States 40404 (any)
    Canada 21212 (any)
    United Kingdom 86444 Vodafone, Orange, 3, O2
    Brazil 40404 Nextel, TIM
    Haiti 40404 Digicel, Voila
    Ireland 51210 Vodafone, O2
    India 53000 Bharti Airtel, Videocon, Reliance
    Indonesia 89887 AXIS, 3, Telkomsel, Indosat, XL Axiata
    Italy 4880804 Wind
    3424486444 Vodafone
    » See SMS short codes for other countries

    Confirmation

     

    Welcome home!

    This timeline is where you’ll spend most of your time, getting instant updates about what matters to you.

    Tweets not working for you?

    Hover over the profile pic and click the Following button to unfollow any account.

    Say a lot with a little

    When you see a Tweet you love, tap the heart — it lets the person who wrote it know you shared the love.

    Spread the word

    The fastest way to share someone else’s Tweet with your followers is with a Retweet. Tap the icon to send it instantly.

    Join the conversation

    Add your thoughts about any Tweet with a Reply. Find a topic you’re passionate about, and jump right in.

    Learn the latest

    Get instant insight into what people are talking about now.

    Get more of what you love

    Follow more accounts to get instant updates about topics you care about.

    Find what's happening

    See the latest conversations about any topic instantly.

    Never miss a Moment

    Catch up instantly on the best stories happening as they unfold.

    The Onion‏Verified account @TheOnion 26 Aug 2017

    Target ‘Dorm Room Essentials’ Aisle Being Browsed Exclusively By 30-Year-Old Men With Studio Apartments http://trib.al/NEjCWDu pic.twitter.com/ekCmC2JW6O

    8:10 AM - 26 Aug 2017
    • 508 Retweets
    • 2,580 Likes
    • Leviathan Rods BayMonster Kevin -☆‿ ☆ David Williams Byron Heffner 🕸🎃happy holidays👻🔪 Headset Ablaze SMM Agence
    24 replies 508 retweets 2,580 likes
      1. elirt‏ @el_irt 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        I thought the Onion was supposed to be satire, not reporting the truth

        0 replies 0 retweets 13 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. rand paul's neighbor‏ @ILive66Failed 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        how you gonna do me like that onion we were bros once

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. 0 swag‏ @turkey_sausage 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @maggieNYT

        @shellalexandra me

        2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
      3. shell‏ @shellalexandra 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @turkey_sausage @TheOnion @maggieNYT

        "30 year old men with studio apartments" lmao dead ass

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
      4. End of conversation
      1. Trudi Gilfillian‏ @TrudiGilfillian 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @maggieNYT

        This was among the room essentials I saw yesterday. Seems a tad non-essential to me!pic.twitter.com/pdc1UG9E7C

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Kara Parker‏ @LilBlondeHen 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Haha, perfect

        0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. New conversation
      2. Seth's Pizzeria‏ @SethsPizzeria 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        @culter35 is it true?!

        1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
      3. Anthony Mennella‏ @culter35 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @SethsPizzeria @TheOnion

        I can confirm:

        1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
      4. 1 more reply
      1. Citizen Tinpot‏ @TinpotRepublic 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        WHERE ARE THE JAP SEX DOLLS

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Dennis Lafontaine‏ @dennis28879953 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Where be this Target? It has an elevator!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Caroline Dwyer‏ @cdwyer0213 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Bahaha!

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. leashyourkids‏ @leashyourkids 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        He might just retire one day.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Sala‏ @thefly869 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion

        Definitely me when I was young and single

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Fran Donnelly‏ @frandonnelly5 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @maggieNYT

        Hey, it works.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo
      1. Nietzsche Is Dead‏ @BlueDragonfly76 26 Aug 2017
        Replying to @TheOnion @maggieNYT

        That moment when you realize your life is literally satire.

        0 replies 0 retweets 0 likes
        Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
        Undo

    Loading seems to be taking a while.

    Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.

      Promoted Tweet

      false

      • © 2018 Twitter
      • About
      • Help Center
      • Terms
      • Privacy policy
      • Cookies
      • Ads info